How Can Kinship Caregivers Find the Resources They Need to Succeed?

Kinship-led families have unique needs, and finding resources to meet those needs can be a challenge. Today, we're talking with Mike Heath, a Resource Specialist with the Coalition for Children, Youth & Families in Wisconsin. The Coalition is a Resource Center for birth parents, foster families, adoptive families, relative/kinship/and like-kin caregivers, and child welfare and Tribal agency professionals.

In this episode, we discuss:

• What are the most frequently reported everyday needs or resource gaps caregivers are experiencing? 
• What is the most pressing need these kids are facing when they come to a new caregiver?
• What are the urgent needs caregivers have when welcoming a child or a sibling group, etc?
• Where can families find help with immediate essentials—such as beds, cribs, car seats, clothing, and school supplies?
• Which phone numbers should caregivers keep on speed dial?
• How should a relative caregiver secure the ability to make medical and school decisions quickly? 
• What papers or forms should caregivers request on day one? From whom?
• Managing the documentation and paperwork can be a significant challenge for a new caregiver. Do you have any recommendations for managing this?
• Should school enrollment be a priority in that first week? 
• How should a caregiver start the process of ensuring medical coverage (dental, vision, prescriptions, and mental health included)?
• Where should I start if I find the Medicaid/CHIP process confusing? 
• Once a kinship-led family is settling in, what additional needs or options should they consider? 
• Where to go to learn about those options?
• What are the possible financial resources that caregivers should look into?
• Importance of self-care, mental wellness, and community for both caregivers and the children they support
• If a new caregiver listens to this and does only three things this week, what should they be?

Resources:

• Free Download Checklist for the first 30 days as a Kinship Caregiver
• Virtual Resource Kit for Relative Caregivers - Virtual Resource Kit: Relative Caregiving - Wisconsin Family Connections Center
• Relative Caregiver Learning Pathway on Champion Classrooms (Free recorded webinar series) - Relative Caregiver Learning Pathway Link 
• Collection of Resources for Relative Caregivers - https://wifamilyconnectionscenter.org/how-do-i/find-support-as-a-relative-caregiver/
• Coalition for Children, Youth & Families -

Chapters

• 3:37 What are the most frequently reported everyday needs or resource gaps caregivers are experiencing?
• 9:07 What is the most pressing need these kids are facing when they come to a new caregiver? What are the urgent needs caregivers have when welcoming a child or a sibling group, etc?
• 13:56 Where can families find help with immediate essentials—such as beds, cribs, car seats, clothing, and school supplies?
• 20:39 Which phone numbers should caregivers keep on speed dial?
• 24:22 How should a relative caregiver secure the ability to make medical and school decisions quickly? What papers or forms should caregivers request on day one? From whom?
• 29:48 Managing the documentation and paperwork can be a significant challenge for a new caregiver. Do you have any recommendations for managing this?
• 32:40 Should school enrollment be a priority in that first week?
• 38:40 How should a caregiver start the process of ensuring medical coverage (dental, vision, prescriptions, and mental health included)? Where should I start if I find the Medicaid/CHIP process confusing?
• 43:56 Once a kinship-led family is settling in, what additional needs or options should they consider? Where to go to learn about those options?
• 50:07 What are the possible financial resources that caregivers should look into?
• 1:01:35 Importance of self-care, mental wellness, and community for both caregivers and the children they support
• 1:08:55 If a new caregiver listens to this and does only three things this week, what should they be?

Transcript

Please pardon any errors, this is an automated transcript.

Hello and welcome to Creating a Family. Talk about adoption, foster care, and kinship
care. I am Tracy Whitney. I'm the content director for Creating a Family .org and
I'm also the host of both of the weekly Creating a Family .org podcasts. I'm really
excited to talk to you today about some specific needs and resources that can come
around and support kinship or relative caregivers in our country. September is
National Kinship Awareness Month and so we're piggybacking on that to bring you kind
of a bird's -eye view of what kind of resources are available to families like yours
that are grandparent -led or aunt and uncle -led or other relative or family friend,
fictive kin -led families who can access these supports and resources. I'm going to
be talking today to Mike Heath. He is a resource specialist with the Coalition for
Children, Youth, and Families. The Coalition is a resource center for birth parents,
foster families, adoptive families, and relative or kin and like -kin caregivers,
and for child welfare and tribal professionals in the state of Wisconsin. Mike has
35 plus years of social work experience in Wisconsin and he appreciates today's
opportunity to talk with all of you about the resources and supports for families
and professionals in the kinship realm. So welcome, Mike. - Thank you so much. It's
great to be here with you. - And we're really glad that you came and are willing
to share your time. I found when I was doing some research for resources for
kinship caregivers, I found the Wisconsin Relative Caregiving virtual resource online.
And that's what led me to you to have today's conversation. So could you tell me a
little bit about what led to the inspiration of Wisconsin's toolkit and what gaps
you guys were aiming to fill? Absolutely. So at the Coalition for Children, Youth,
and Families and the Wisconsin Family Connection Center, our team continually creates
resources for families and professionals. And we created a variety of resources for
kinship care providers. And to make it user -friendly for kinship care providers,
we created this virtual resource kit, which means we combined all of the resources
on that particular topic that supports kinship care providers, such as tip sheets,
which are four to five pages of just information about different topics pertaining to
kinship care. We also have information in there about free trainings that we provide
through champion classrooms for our kinship care providers. So we have a variety of
resources that we put into one document so kinship care families can access those
resources. And all of our resources, Tracy, are free so there's no charge for
families to access any of our resources and they can print them off, they can share
them with their colleagues that are also kinship care providers and they can reach
out to us if they have questions and we can provide support and resources as follow
-up. And we will link that information in our show notes for listeners and I want
to say that although this is a toolkit kind of specific to Wisconsin residents,
the information that you're providing is available and accessible in other states as
well. And so you could even use the Wisconsin toolkit as kind of your jumping point
for how to find those resources in your state. Let's talk a little bit about the
components of a toolkit like this that you're seeing your caregivers engage with the
most, what seems to be kind of the hot buttons for them? - For our relative
caregivers or kinship care providers, it's really something that's brand new for them.
In other words, if you're thinking of becoming a foster parent, the national
information tells us that you generally think about it for two to three years before
you make that call, become a licensed foster care provider. Similarly, when you want
to build your family through adoption, that's a conversation and a discussion and a
heart to heart you're having with your partner for multiple years before you become
an adoptive family for our relative caregivers is often very quick.
It's a phone call that we need your assistance, we need your support. And you have
a day or a couple days to make that decision. So one of the key areas that we
see in Wisconsin that I think is paramount across the United States is making sure
that our relative caregivers have supports and resources to support them along their
journey, because they're going to be changing their role from a grandmother, an aunt,
an uncle, a sibling to now a parental year and that's a big shift for them and
it's going to be a shift for the child that they're caring for. So wanting to make
sure that they have those resources and supports to provide them and prepare them
for becoming a relative caregiver. And also when somebody becomes a relative
caregiver, whether it's a voluntary kinship care provider or a court order kinship
provider situation, you're going to be working with caseworkers,
social workers, the system. And that's going to be new for a lot of folks. And so
again, our agency, we provide a toll -free line so families can call us and we can
answer those questions and help them navigate the system. But yeah, those are some
of the key things that we see, just kind of that change in roles, the need for
support connection belonging and then how to kind of work and interact and get the
support resources that they need through the system that they're working with in
their state. So it sounds to me that you can easily translate that to the
nationwide set of needs that caregivers are experiencing kind of in the immediacy of
that phone call or of that caseworker showing you're showing up on the front step
saying, "Hey, we need you to step in and help with your grandchild here. Are these
everyday needs that you're seeing in Wisconsin? Do those include things like
practical? Where are they going to sleep? Do we have enough clothes? How do I
afford groceries for my three grandchildren when I was just really affording groceries
for myself? Are those the kinds of needs that you're talking about?" - Absolutely,
it's an adjustment 'cause a lot of times when that phone does ring and they're
asked to take on that role of a caregiver, yes, there's a financial considerations,
as you just mentioned, 'cause that's gonna change things for them and for their
family, but there are resources to help support the family in those areas, and
that's where our agency comes into play to make sure that we connect those families
to those supportive resources. But it is also accessing, like you mentioned,
clothing resources. Perhaps in our state in Wisconsin, we have clothing closets that
we can connect families to where they can go to get clothing for the child or
children that they're caring for. So yeah, I feel that is definitely something that
is universal for all relative caregivers to make sure that they wanna make sure that
they're welcoming that child into their home and the child feels comfortable in
making sure that, you know, for example, something as simple as making sure they
have their favorite stuffed animal or some of their favorite toys so that they feel
comfortable because we always have to put in the forefront, this is a big change
and adjustment for the child. And we have to do everything that we can to make
sure that that child feels welcomed, supported, and that we also provide those
supports and resources for the caregiver, and that they're taking care of themselves.
Because again, this is something that they've made a decision rather quickly to do,
oftentimes, and self -care is so important for all parents,
but especially if it's a brand new situation where you find yourself as a relative
caregiver, making sure you're taking time to take care of yourself so that you can
be at your best for the child or children that you're caring for. And recognizing
that self -care when you're stepping into this brand new role is going to look
different than it did before the children came to live with you. When you were just
grandma, Self -care was one mode. Self -care now as grandma /mom is a very different
mode and helping caregivers identify how that must change and the resources they need
to facilitate that change are huge. You're speaking my language when you talk about
self -care, it's one of my passion projects, shall we say? Let's talk about some of
the things that kind of in those first moments and first days that a caregiver is
welcoming a new child into their home. And I say new child, not that the child is
new to them, but it's a new experience. They're welcoming a child into their home
that has not lived there consistently beforehand. What are some of the things that
our caregivers should consider tackling when that child first comes to meet that
child's urgent need? Yeah, definitely, like I had mentioned before, just providing
that warm, welcoming, nurturing embrace when the child or children come into your
home, you know, give them a tour, show them where everything's located because
everything's going to be new to them and everything's going to be different where
things are, you know, show them their bedroom, where they're going to be sleeping.
If you have pets at home, you know, slowly introduce them to the pets, those type
of things, but just really making sure that they feel welcome, letting the children
know that they can come to you. If they have questions or concerns, or if they
just need any type of supports and ask open ended questions, you know, how are you
doing? What can I do to make you more comfortable? What are some of your favorite
foods, what is your bedtime routine if it's an older child or talking to the
parent? Tell me more about their diet. Tell me more about the bedtime routine.
Just let me get to know my niece or nephew or sibling so that I can make sure
that I'm providing the best possible care. That co -parenting component of relative
caregiving or kinship, caregiving is so important to make sure that everybody is on
the same page, because again, our focus is on making sure that child's needs are
being met. And also, usually when a child comes into kinship care,
one of the benefits besides keeping them connected to their family and their culture
is oftentimes they don't have to change schools. But there are situations where child
may need to change school. So that'll be important to, you know, arrange for a tour
of the school ahead of time, get to know their teachers, go over the class schedule
with them if it is a new school. So those are all important things of making sure
that we do everything we can as relative caregivers to support the children and make
sure that they're comfortable and just be available and open like I said if they do
have questions for you. Yeah, one of the ways that caregivers can demonstrate that
they are a safe space for this child would to be offering them voice and choice,
saying things like, hey, I was thinking of having macaroni and cheese for dinner
tonight. Would you like a green salad or would you like green beans? And,
you know, offering them the opportunity to have a preference and express the
preference and then honoring that preference empowers the kids, but it also builds
trust between you and the child. Another thing that can be really helpful is if you
are in a co -parenting situation and you can get in advance, maybe a picture or two
of the child with their parents or with their pet that maybe they had to leave at
home, something like that to put it into their bedroom or put it in the common
living spaces of your home, that tells the child that they belong there because now
there's pictures of them in the space too, but it also gives them the ability to
connect with something that is very meaningful and sentimental and valuable to their
little hearts so that they can see that even if the relationship is challenging
between you and their parent, they can see that their parent is still part of their
family. And it's not been a complete, you know, breaking of family to go live with
grandma or go live with an aunt. Absolutely. And oftentimes, you know,
we recommend when we're talking to foster parents or adoptive parents or relative
caregivers to create what's called a welcoming book, just like you described, where
you do put pictures in there of their family, of their pets, of their friends,
and that can be something that they continue to build upon throughout their stay
with the relative caregiver. But yeah, just like you mentioned, something special and
unique and comforting to them that they're part of the family, And you want to make
sure you have those pictures and those important sentimental items that are available
to them so that they feel that sense of trust and comfort. Absolutely. - So
sometimes these kids are coming to caregiver homes without kind of the essentials
that they really need. That could include things like bedding. It could include cribs
or car seats. It could include basic everyday clothing, diapers, all that kind of
thing. Where would you recommend that a caregiver start the search for those kinds
of resources that they need like quickly? You can't wait for diapers. - Absolutely.
So here in Wisconsin, a kinship family is gonna be connected to a kinship
coordinator. And that kinship coordinator, their role is to make sure that the
relative care provider has access to all those resources from diapers to clothes to
you know car seats like you mentioned. So that is your really the first point of
contact for our families here in Wisconsin is connect with their kinship care
coordinator and she or he will help that family get those connections in their local
community to regional resources. they can also reach out to our agency and we have
lists of resources from the clothing closets that I had mentioned earlier to other
resources that they can tap into. So we encourage all families wherever they are
located to reach out to their state or local contacts for those resources.
And like I said, here in Wisconsin, that's an honor and a privilege for our team
to make sure that our families that reach out to us, that we're going to connect
them to their local resources and encourage them to pick up the phone or contact
their kinship care coordinator who will help them, you know, get connected to those
resources. So if a family is reaching out to welcome a child and is not connected
to a formal systemic organization like a kinship navigator or the foster care system,
and they're doing it maybe in an informal manner, where would their first point of
contact be? - No, that's a great question. 2 -1 -1 is a great resource for all
families where they can call and explain that I'm a new relative caregiver.
I'm looking for X, Y, and Z, can you help me in that 211 service and every state
is going to be able to connect them to those local resources. Another, another great
place to start is going on Google and typing in kinship resources in my state,
you know, and that'll provide some, some phone numbers, some other points of fact,
for the family that's brand new and they will again be a support and resource going
forward. But I would definitely recommend the two on one resource as well as doing
some searching online. And again, if they have an established relationship with a
kinship care coordinator, definitely reach out to them. The other thing I would like
to add to that we haven't spoken about is many states have support groups for
relative caregivers here in Wisconsin. We have a virtual, it's connect,
K -I -N -N -E -C -T. So we have the kin word right in the support group. And that's
all virtual. It's free families that are relative caregivers can attend one session
or multiple sessions, however they would like. And it's a way to learn from other
relative caregivers about their journey and about how to access resources.
So getting back to how we talked about self -care earlier, those support groups are
a great resource for families to learn from one another and to share what they've
learned with other families along the journey. So we definitely encourage support
groups as a resource as well for relative caregivers. And if you don't know how to
find that in your state. You can go to your states .gov website and just in the
search bar type kinship resources and they should have some lists or additional
website that it takes you to to help you find that. I will also put a plug -in at
this point for creating a family's online kinship support group. I'm actually the
facilitator of the kinship support group. We meet on the 4th Thursday night of every
month by Zoom and we have members from all over the country who come and we sit
and we go through a video curriculum together. We learn about the needs and the
challenges and the joys of kinship caregiving and then we always provide practical
parenting tips and resources and you can find out more about that by emailing me
tracy @creatingafamily .org. That's T -R -A -C -Y at creatingafamily .org and I would be
honored to help you find the right support for your family if you are looking for
that. So thanks for bringing up support groups. It's a awesome means of garnering
self -care for families. I think the other thing that we should probably mention is
school districts are becoming much more aware of the needs of kinship caregiver
families and often the guidance department at your local school or the family
services department at your local school district can get you started on finding the
resources and support that you need in your community. So your school districts are
another great resource. Absolutely.
Isn't this a great conversation? I'm learning so much about the different resources
that are available not just in Mike's state of Wisconsin but across the nation for
kinship families. I also wanted to tell you about another free resource because we
love free around here. We have a library of 15 free courses that have been
sponsored by the Jockey Being Family Foundation. If you go to bit .ly /jbfsupport,
that's b -i -t dot l -y slash j -b -f support,
you can take one class. You can take 15 classes if you want that will help build
your parenting toolbox. It'll support your kinship -led families, connections and
relationships, and give you the tools you need to help your family thrive. So that's
bit .ly /jbfsupport. B -I -T dot L -Y slash J -B -F support.
And now let's go back to the show. Let's talk a little bit about the practicals
for kinship caregivers. Can you give me a couple of the phone numbers that they
should keep on speed dial in their phone to help them navigate this new experience
in their family life. - Absolutely. Again, going back to the kinship care coordinator
or whatever that position title is in the state that you reside to reach out to
that case worker, making sure that you have that number on speed dial. The school
counselor, I love that you brought up schools where school and has just started here
in September. And so it's important to reach out to the school council for those
resources. And then if you have a local resource center like the Coalition for
Children, Youth and Families in Wisconsin or the Wisconsin Family Connections Center
having that number available. And then again, 211, I can't promote that number enough
that families can reach out and get access to resources when they when they need
them. So those would be the numbers that come to my mind, Tracy, in terms of
having those on speed dial. And as you continue your journey, I'm sure families are
going to continue to add additional resources such as the clothing closets once they
find more information about them or the number for the support group, those type of
things. Those are all important that the connection and the support of the community,
all parents need those supports and those resources. I'm a parent myself and none of
us know when exactly we're gonna need some type of support, but I can guarantee you
at some point along our journey as a parent, whether you're an adoptive parent,
foster parent, relative caregiver, that sense of community and sense of resources and
turning to folks for that advice and resources. Sometimes Tracy is just having a
listening ear, somebody to be there to listen, to guide, support, offer some pearls
of wisdom, because it does get challenging at times, but we want to make sure that
relative caregivers never feel like they're alone, because whether it's a support
group, whether it's connecting with your local human service agency or a statewide
support group that you will have a connection to community and resources throughout
your journey. - Yeah, I mean, the truth of the matter is we are never alone when
we're kinship caregivers. Generations United recently estimated that more than 2
million children in America live in a kinship or relative caregiving family situation.
That's a lot of kids in America, so that translates to no adult who's doing this
kinship caregiving being alone, and we just want to make sure that they know they're
not alone and they're supported and surrounded. I would also add that maybe you
should have the phone number for this child's pediatrician on speed dial, especially
if there's been abuse or neglect and you wanna make sure you're not letting any gap
in care happen, but also consider having a legal aid or a free legal clinic on
your speed dial to help you navigate some of the legal issues that might come with
kinship caregiving. And finally, I would also add a benefits or eligibility contact
person that's often through the state but sometimes you can start at your county
level and they can help you navigate what state and county services are available to
you to support you in this like SNAP or WIC or things like that. So let's talk a
little bit about kind of the formalizing of authority that has to happen when you
take a child from your family into your home and you're caring for them while their
birth parents cannot. What's the simplest way for a kinship caregiver or a relative
caregiver to secure that ability to make, say, medical decisions or school decisions
quickly? Short of legal full custody, what's the quickest way for them to do that?
And that gets back to making sure if it's possible to have that close connection
with the a birth parent or birth parents and getting their permission for medical
care, any other type of services that you're going to need. It's also extremely
important, we haven't talked about this yet, Tracy, is making sure that you have the
child's birth certificate, social security card or number. So you have those important
documents for the school and for other legal reasons. You want to make sure you
have a nice folder where it can be stored confidentially and have that information
for the child. But it's really having that conversation at the very beginning with
the child's parent or parents and having an understanding of what your role is and
just as importantly what your role isn't because you're not replacing the parent. You
are there to support that child in a time of need where the parent is for whatever
reason or reasons isn't able to, but when that child comes into your care as a
relative caregiver, you're going to establish some basic ground rules or household
rules that's important that you kind of have that open communication with the child,
again age and developmentally appropriate, but making sure that they have a clear
understanding of what your rules and expectations are, and then having, again,
that co -parenting discussion with the parents, and making sure are there food
allergies, are there any nighttime routines as we talked about earlier, are there any
other considerations that we should be aware of so that we can, you know, make sure
that we're meeting the needs of your child. And I think it's important to say your
child because they are the parent and they have all those rights. So I think at
the very beginning is just having those clear, open, and honest conversations with
the birth parent or parents, and then also having that open and honest conversation
with the child or children of its siblings, because we always want to see siblings,
you know, be able to stay together if that's possible. But you have in those
conversations together, so everybody's on the same page, that there isn't confusion,
that type of thing, so. - Yeah, and at this point, I think I'll put a plug in for
the Creating a Family resources on co -parenting. We've got some pretty extensive
articles and podcasts or caregivers who are trying to figure out how to navigate a
relationship with this child's birth parents and do it respectfully and do it safely
because of course we wanna maintain the child's physical and emotional and mental
safety through all of it. So you can just go to creatingafamily .org and type in co
-parenting in the search bar and you'll get some really great results that we've been
able to garner from other experts in the field too. So another resource I would
also like to add that we have through the coalition, we have a training curricula
called champion classrooms. And what champion classrooms is provides free training
resources through the Wisconsin Family Connection Center for families and professionals.
But We have a whole learning track for relative caregivers on a variety of different
topics. And all folks need to do is search champion classrooms at championclassrooms
.org. They have to enter their name and an email, and then their learner's accounts
all set up, and then they're able to access, again, I love the word free, free
resources through the Wisconsin Family Connection Center, and I would search similar
to your program, relative caregiver series, and they'll have access to all of our
recorded webinars. We have live webinars, and then we record them and put them in
our library. And so if somebody's not able to attend a live webinar, they can
access our recorded webinars at any time and watch them. But yet some great
resources on a variety of different topics. And again, all of us as parents,
we need to continue to learn and grow and get information. And for our relative
caregivers, since this is a new role for them, we specifically designed a learning
path that have a variety of topics that are pertinent to the role that they have
as relative caregivers. So definitely encourage folks to check out champion classrooms
as well. Great. Thank you for that. That's helpful for more learning opportunities.
We love learning. We say all the time around here, knowledge is power, and we
really, we want to keep empowering parents. So I appreciate that plug. A couple
minutes ago, you mentioned that some of the pertinent documents would include the
birth certificate and health records and things like that. Keeping all of that kind
of documentation straight and organized when you haven't had to do it in a really
long time can be very overwhelming. So can you give us a little bit of a
recommendation or maybe some different styles or different tips for how to organize
those very important documents? Absolutely. So yes,
it's going to be new for our relative caregivers. And so going out to your local
store and getting a locked filing cabinet, for example, so you can make sure that
that information remains confidential and secure. And I really emphasize the other
important thing for families is to keep a journal, to keep a daily log,
what's going well, what questions that they may have, what are some things that
they're not certain about, And so that when they do meet with their kinship care
coordinator, they can have those open discussions and it does, that having that
journal or that log is just a way to kind of keep track of how things are going,
another way to do that. I'm kind of old school with the file cabinet. You can
also, if people are internet savvy, they can, you know, create a document that they
can lock on their computer where they can store that information in a file,
and in that way they can access it themselves. And it's again, kept confidential and
safe, which are extremely important because we wanna protect that for our children.
So there's a variety of different ways, but getting into that routine early on of
keeping the documents in a safe place, whatever feels most comfortable for that and
whether it's a file cabinet that's locked or whether it's on your computer, it's in
a safe stored place, that those are ways that the information can be kept
confidential, but that that parent or guardian can access that information when they
need it. - And if you're a really tech savvy caregiver, you can look for apps that
will help you do that. If you're welcoming a teen or a tween, you can ask the
teen or the tween to help you find apps. They love teaching us new things and it's
a great way to kind of form some connection and some bond and if you explain to
them, hey, I really need help kind of putting all of these important documents
together in one place and I'd like to keep it on my phone 'cause I always have my
phone with me. Would you teach me how to do that? that can be a great segue into
building some good relationship between you and the young person, as well as helping
you organize and keep everything straight in your head and in your app. I would
imagine that school enrollment is a pretty significant priority in the first few days
of bringing this child into your home. What are some of the reasons that caregivers
should kind of feel that sense of emergency around school enrollment, and then how
do they start that? - Definitely reaching out to the school counselor, the principal
of the school, and setting up an appointment, making sure that the child again feels
comfortable if it's a new school, and if it's the same school or a new school for
the relative caregiver, they're gonna wanna introduce themselves to the school staff
so that they understand that they're going to be kind of the person that's going to
be bringing the child to school, perhaps, or they're going to be the person that's
going to be getting phone calls. But just making sure that the school staff knows
who you are and that you are the relative caregiver, you're the point of contact.
Obviously, if there's any decision, big decisions that need to be made, that's always
going to go back to the parent because they're the guardian. But for the relative
caregiver, yes, it's definitely making sure everything is taken care of in terms of
their enrollment and that they have all the documentation that they need from
immunization records to any other pertinent documents that the child has so that they
are officially enrolled in that school district. And like I said, just over emphasize
the importance of just that relational component of the relative caregiver having that
introduction and so that that way I think it's important too that you're modeling to
the child that you're caring for that school is important. I am going to be
involved. I am going to make sure that you know that you're having a great school
year and that your academics are priority or if they're and after school events or
sporting events, making sure you're getting the medical appointments done ahead of
time. So you have that taken care of if they're gonna go out for sports. And even
beyond that, if the child is a little bit older, like you mentioned earlier, the
tweens or the teens and they have an after school job, making sure that that's all
range for transportation. if it's a new job, making sure they have the proper
documentation. This is where the birth certificates and social security cards come
into play. My daughter's a sophomore at UW La Crosse, and we recently had to do
that, making sure that she had the proper paperwork to enroll in a job before
school started. Same thing applies for our relative caregivers. And again, if you
haven't been in that role of a parenting figure for many years, this is gonna be
all new. And you may remember some things, you may not remember others, and we need
those refreshers sometimes, but that's getting back to the importance of making sure
I have all your documents ready for school, for any work opportunities for the
child, or after school sporting opportunities for the child,
just making sure you have all those documents ready, but yeah, those are all
important for the relative caregiver to keep top of mind so that when the school
year starts, or whenever that child transitions into their home, that they'll have
all those records and documents ready to go so they can sit down with the school
counselor and the principal if needed, just to make sure that it's a smooth
transition for that child into the school district. - And I would add that the act
of doing all of these things is an excellent means of showing the child or the
tween or the teen that you are invested, not just in their education, but in
teaching them and supporting them to advocate for themselves. So along the way,
depending on the child's age or stage, you're want to involve the child in these
conversations, hey, I'm going to the school today to register you. I'd like you to
come with me so that you can answer the questions and talk to the registrar. And
again, age and stage appropriate, because every kid has a different bandwidth for how
to handle this, but giving them a voice in the process continues to build that
trust, continues to build that sense of safety between you. And it's also ensuring
some predictability and some consistency and some stability is being built into their
days because face it, they may have come from an environment where things felt very
unpredictable and very chaotic. And so when you walk them through all of these very
necessary social and life issues, it helps them realize stability and predictability
are good things for my life. And this is how I'm going to find healing and set
myself up to succeed at some point. And that's really what we want for our kids.
We want to give them the tools to set themselves up for success. And we can best
do that by modeling how to set them up for success. - Yeah, and I love how you
use that phrase, ages and stages. That's so important and a great reminder for our
relative caregivers and that modeling approach. Like we both talked about of just
setting that example that you are important to me, your school and your educations
important to me. And I'm gonna be along with you throughout this journey and support
you the best of my ability, but also empowering them like you had mentioned to make
sure that they do what they need to do to have a successful school year as well,
but I definitely feel it's so important for our relative caregivers just to
demonstrate that to the child and make sure that they know that they have their
backs and they're going to be supportive of them from the start. Absolutely. So
something you probably don't want to or have to involve the child in is getting
them covered with health insurance if they haven't been yet or transferring
prescriptions and all those kinds of things. Where do relative caregivers start trying
to figure out if the child is covered and if they're not covered, how do they get
covered? Where do they start? Yeah, those things are all so important as we all
know. And again, that's where that kinship care coordinator is going to be so vital,
wherever that point of contact is in your state, to help advise you on the steps
to make sure that all the medical care is being taken care of. So having that
conversation with that caseworker is going to be important, talking to the parents to
make sure you have all the documentation and the records and what is the
pediatrician's name. If there's a therapist that's involved, what is their name?
What is their contact? How often do they meet? And I really like how you phrase
that. These are adult conversations to have versus getting the children involved
because the caregiver, the relative caregiver, the kinship care provider, has to take
on some of those roles to just to make sure there's that smooth transition for
medical care and the mental wellness support. Like I said, if they have a therapist
or a counselor, just to make sure that everything kind of is in line. And again,
it comes full circle back to being organized and keeping them. We didn't mention
this, but having a calendar that might be new for folks that are actually a great
point. If you've been retired and on your own for a little while, you may not have
been living by a calendar. And when you've got a kid that's school aged or is in
regular therapy, calendars really matter.
That's a great point. Yeah, yeah, just making sure. And then that's something you
can involve the child in to make sure that, you know, important dates are on there.
And, and you can just have a calendar out however you do it at your home. We have
We have a calendar right on the fridge. So everybody knows kind of what's coming up
and what important dates are happening for us as well as for our children. So
that's important. But again, every family is gonna do that, what fits best for them,
but definitely getting back to the medical, just making sure you have all the
pertinent records, pertinent documents, and then reaching out to that case worker of
if you're not able to get the documents or if you have a good relationship with
the child's birth parent or parents to be able to have that conversation with them
to make sure that you have all the records and information that you need again for
that smooth transition into care. And when we say medical, I want to make sure that
we are all understanding that that means medical, dental, eye care,
it could mean specialty care if they have underlying special needs. And again,
you had alluded to earlier therapeutic services. So mental and emotional health would
be included in this conversation. We want to make sure that caregivers, and it
doesn't mean you have to do it all on the first three days, because that's a big
apple to bite into. Take it one thing at a time, just one step at a time,
don't let yourself get overwhelmed, kind of make a list. And if you can do it in
conjunction with that child's parents, that's awesome, or use the case worker, but
make a list and just start ticking off the list one thing at a time to make sure
that that child has all of the supports and services around them that they need. So
one more quick interruption to tell you about National Kinship Awareness Month.
If you are raising a grandchild or a niece or a nephew or the child of another
family member or close friend, September is National Kinship Awareness Month and in
addition to this particular interview which I'm finding to be so practical, I want
to recommend that you check out the Creating a Family resource page called Helping
Kin Kids Heal and you can find that at Bitly Helping Kids Heal.
That's B -I -T dot L -Y slash Helping Kids Heal.
All month long we'll be running social media posts that highlight our free articles
and free podcasts like this one and we'll also be bringing up some archived
resources for your knowledge and your learning. It will help strengthen your caregiver
built family. You can follow us on Facebook. You can follow us on Instagram,
Pinterest, X, which used to be called Twitter, and threads all under the handle
@creatingafamily. And then you won't miss any of our new kinship content when you do
that. So the landing page again is bit
L Y slash helping kids heal or follow us on any of the social media platforms that
I mentioned. Now let's go back to our interview with Mike. Let's move on to kind
of the settling in process. So we've gotten past the first week or even maybe the
first month of settling all of these big questions. And let's start thinking about
some of the additional gaps that might be showing themselves or additional needs that
might be cropping up, one of which would be kind of what do we do next? What's
permanency look like for this child? Can you talk about, please, the permanency
options that caregivers might want to start thinking about once the child's settled
in and life starts to develop its natural rhythms? Yeah, definitely having those big
conversations or, you know, exploring the options of permanency are vital as you
continue along on your journey. So it could be something like guardianship and
finding out the different types of guardianship that are available in your state.
Again, here at the Wisconsin Family Connection Center, we have packets of free
resources that we can send to families. What's the difference between guardianship
versus adoption? We have a tip sheet on that very topic. So we can provide those
for families so that they have that general understanding. And for our relative
caregivers that are maybe new, and you're thinking about adoption, adoption is
permanency. This is, you're going to decide to become that child's permanent legal
guardian. And that's a big decision for you as a family. And it's a big decision
for the child to have that conversation. And that's probably going to be further
down the road type of situation. But if it is a, every journey is a little bit
different, as we know. So for a child where maybe the parental rights are in the
process of being terminated, the determination of parental rights, there's court
hearings that are happening, then that is a decision. And I called a heart to heart
conversation, either with yourself or with your partner and decide what does this
mean for us long term because we're making that 100 % commitment to that child.
And so having that conversation or is it guardianship until the child turns 18.
And if they have some known disabilities once the child becomes an adult at 18,
looking at adult guardianship, we have resources available for families as well.
And in your state, you can look up adult resources for guardianship as well.
But doing a lot of research and having those heart -to -heart conversations about
what's going to be best long -term. Now, obviously the goal and the majority of the
circumstances is for a successful reunification of the child was his or her parents
or parents, but when that's not possible, then that's where guardianship is something
to be explored further in talking to somebody that has some legal expertise in that
area or reaching out to a resource center, someone for the Wisconsin Family
Connection Center and your state and getting that information so that you can make a
decision that's gonna be best for your family as well as for the child. But yeah,
those are some, you know, and again, we don't wanna overwhelm any of our relative
caregivers, but you also wanna be planful as you're kind of starting this journey
and deciding, you know, where this, what path that might be best for you and for
the child that you're caring for, or maybe it's just short term kinship care,
with the goal of reunification, whatever that case may be, just making sure that
you're being aware of all the different options that are available to you as a
family from, like I said, from guardianship, which gives you additional roles and
responsibilities, all the way to adoption, which gives you complete control as a
parent because the court would determine that you are now the legal guardian for
that child for life. And that's a big responsibility, incredible honor. So you
definitely want to make sure that you kind of understand the differences between
guardianship and adoption when it gets to that level and to mentally decide which
route you want to go, but that would be a lot of conversations with folks similar
to our team at the Wisconsin Family Connection Center and in your state to reach
out for those resources for legal support and information so that you can make the
best decision for you and that child that you're caring for. - Yeah, I mean, those
are some big questions and they, like you said, are going to be questions you can
start answering in the first weeks or months of raising this child,
but if you are looking for places to go to educate yourself about those options and
maybe start kind of chipping away at them one at a time to help you understand the
pros and cons, you can again go to your states .gov website and look for kinship
resources. Each of the states often has a place where they define what the options
are in your state and what the pros and cons of those options are. Creating a
Family also has a, it's called Legal Options and it's on our website,
creatingafamily .org. And if you go to the Kinship drop -down option,
you can choose Legal Options. Now our Legal Options page is specific to North
Carolina. However, there are resources within that page where you can learn about the
different options and what their definitions are and what the pros and cons of them
are, even if it's not for a North Carolina family, the legal definitions of those
things can still be applied to what's going on in your state. So those are some
options for you to consider if you're trying to figure out down the road what you
need to consider for this child's long -term stability. Let's talk a little bit about
the financial resources that caregivers should know about and start educating
themselves about. And this doesn't have to be like a super deep dive. You can kind
of name them and give us the, you know, the brief overview of what they are and
how they help. So let's start with TANF, and then you can go from there. Yeah,
you definitely want to make sure that you learn about all the different resources
that are available to you as a relative caregiver. TANF is one of them to make
sure that if there are any financial needs for you as a family, that you'll receive
that additional support and resources. Again, reaching out to your local government
agency, they're going to be able to the information and a description and application
process for that. Children that come into kinship care in Wisconsin automatically,
well, you have to apply for Medicaid and Badger Care Plus is what it's called in
our state. So that way that their coverage for medical care, going to the dentist,
is all covered. And then there's also coverage for daycare. So if there's,
you know, if you have a younger child that you're caring for younger children,
daycare costs can be very expensive, but that is something that is provided by the
state, by the Department of Children and Families here in Wisconsin. So that's a
resource that families can access all the way from that TANF to the medical care to
child care services that I just mentioned. So those are the ones that come top of
mind that I would want families to make sure that they reach out to and get the
support that they need, depending on their family's situation. - Yeah, and you can
also talk to either your caseworker or your child's pediatrician or the school
counselor about SNAP, which is the, they used to be called food stamps,
now it's called SNAP, WIC, Women, Infants and Children, if the children are five and
under, again, Social Security for children with disabilities. And another thing that I
think sometimes gets forgotten and overlooked is the reduced or free meals at school.
If they're school -aged children, those can be a significant financial benefit for
families that may have not expected, say, three hungry teenagers to move in.
Or even just one hungry teenager, let's be honest. (laughing) It can be overwhelming
for our kinship caregivers and grandparents and aunts and uncles to feel like they're
subjecting themselves to the screening and the vetting for all of these available
services and resources out there. Do you know of any streamlined or efficient way to
kind of determine eligibility for these and then connected to that, what would be
kind of like a mind shift, mindset shift that you would recommend for caregivers to
consider when they're trying to get screened for all of this? - Absolutely, it can
be overwhelming for sure, because again, this is all brand new for our relative
caregivers that have stepped into this incredible role of caring for a relative.
And just want to extend a thank you and appreciation on behalf of all of us to
this be a national kinship care month for all the kinship care providers for the,
again, I call it heart work that they do each and every day to provide that care
for children. But we talked about this earlier, creating that list,
having that journal, taking things step by step, as you had mentioned, is so
important because it can be certainly overwhelming, but reaching out to that case
worker, our agency, we have a toll -free line. And every time somebody call,
a family calls me, it could be about adoption, it could be about kinship care, it
could be about becoming a foster parent. I, even though I have 35 years of working
in the field, I try and put myself, if I was a brand new parent walking into the
child welfare system, what would I need to know? What would I need to learn? So my
advice for relative caregivers is don't be afraid to ask questions. And if a social
worker or case worker ever uses an acronym, because we're guilty of that sometimes,
like in all professions, please ask them. Can you explain to me what that means?
I don't understand that. So asking those clarifying questions, because again, and I
find myself, sometimes I'll do that, I'll say in accurate, I'm like TPR, or, you
know, free and available for adoption or legal risk adoption, families don't know
what those terms mean, nor should they. And so I'll stop myself and I'll say, let
me explain what that means if I ever do make that mistake. But I would definitely
encourage families to make sure that they, if they bring a journal or a computer or
tablet with you when you're meeting with the worker with questions. And then as
you're having that conversation, if additional questions come up or something is said,
like I said, an acronym or some other term that you're not familiar with, just ask
them because we all get busy sometimes and we'll be guilty of doing that. And it's
okay to ask those open -ended questions because you need to make sure you're getting
the most accurate information so you can make the best decision again for who, for
the child that you're caring for. It's all centered on their well -being and the
best way you can do that is one, taking care of yourself and two, making sure
you're doing the best to take care of the child that is entrusted in your care and
the only way you can do that is making sure you have the most accurate up -to -date
information and resources at your disposal. And that goes back to putting that
information in the file so you can access that later on. But yeah, definitely being
open to asking those open ended questions and clarifying questions with the case
worker, the person that you're working with directly, they're there to help you.
Two on one is there to connect you to resources, agencies like ours of Wisconsin
Family Connection Center. We're here to help families, agencies in your state that
you're watching film have resources available for you. So please reach out to those
resources and don't be afraid to ask those questions. Write them down. I oftentimes
will recommend families do that because again you can get overwhelmed with all the
different - Questions, yeah, it's a lot of information at once and to write it down
in the form of questions or a list, whatever works best for you. And then that way
you'll have that at your ready when you do have that conversation with that case
worker so you can get the answers that you're looking for. - Yeah, and I think it's
important to remember, I mean, there's a good number of kinship caregivers that are
part of the official foster system in their state and so you have kind of a built
-in helper to navigate some of those questions like stipends and licensing and
guardianship and training and ongoing training and things like that and so if you're
not part of the system you may have to work a little harder to find the right
resources and the right supports But they are available to you also and they are
accessible even if it means a little bit more extra work and a little bit maybe
pulling in another helper that you didn't have in your life before. I can't stress
enough how happy most school guidance counselors and school social workers are to
help with this stuff. If you don't know about services available to you as a
kinship caregiver, you don't know what you don't know, but it's almost a certainty
that your school guidance counselor or your school social worker or your pediatricians
social worker, 'cause a lot of pediatricians have social workers in office, they will
know and they will be happy to help you navigate that. So I think your point about
shifting your mindset to being willing to ask for help and being willing to say,
"I don't know what I don't know." And that's a great way to get that kind of
moving for yourself and your family, because you deserve the support. You deserve the
financial help. You deserve the social services that are out there for the betterment
of that child's condition. You deserve that. I couldn't agree more. The other thing
I would like to add that I haven't shared yet is here in Wisconsin, the Wisconsin
Department of Children and Families, the state that oversees all kinship care and
foster care and adoption in our state, they have a wonderful kinship navigator
resource that kind of a step -by -step process where you answer questions and then
based on the answers to your questions, it's going to point you in the direction of
resources. And I think many states have something similar. So again, asking those
questions to your caseworker, is there some, is there a resource online that I can
access that will connect me to resources? Are there regional resources in my area
that can connect me to resources? Are there statewide resources? And we had talked
about this at the beginning that you're not alone. But I think oftentimes when you
become a relative caregiver, you probably do feel like you're alone because it's
brand new and you're trying to figure a million things out at once. But again,
parcel it down step by step, reach out for support. You're not alone.
You have a whole community in Wisconsin at any given day. There's 79 ,000 children
there to be cared for by a relative caregiver. And I'm a big, I'm a big Packer
fan that would fill up Lambeau Fields. So that's how many people that are relative
caregivers in our state. And I know across the United States, the numbers are even
larger. So there is a whole community and there are professionals out there that are
wanting to be a resource or connect you to resources out there so that you can be
the best possible relative caregiver for the child you're caring for. So even though
you might feel like you're alone, you're not and there are agencies such as ours
and your agency and many others that are there to help support children and families
and please feel free to reach out. Don't ever feel bad about asking questions 'cause
that's how you get the answers and that's how you get the best supports for the
child you're caring for. And I will add, because I want to make sure we're not
leaving this crowd out, for those that are raising kids that are not yet school
age, and you've welcomed, say, a toddler into your home, you also deserve access to
supports and services. And just because they're not in school doesn't mean that
there's nothing out there for them. There's things like early intervention, and
there's Head Start, and there's intermediate unit, some states call it something
different. But again, like your pediatricians office is a great place to start with
how do I request an evaluation at early intervention, and they can tell you how to
do that. And so it's just kind of pulling around you the people that know what
they know to help you learn what you don't know. Let's talk a little bit about
some of the mental health needs that we see in in kinship -led families. I wanna
make sure that we talk about mental health needs for the kids, but I also wanna
make sure that we touch on mental health needs and supports for the caregivers.
- Absolutely, so oftentimes children that enter into relative caregiving kinship care
situations, they may have been subjected to trauma, and trauma comes in many
different shapes, sizes, and forms. And so there's a term out there, trauma -informed
parenting. Again, that might be new for our relative caregivers if you haven't
parented yourself in many years. And it's just, it's a different approach. And
they've recently added a healing component, which I love. So it's not only,
you know, recognizing that there's been some past hurts or past traumas, but how can
you, as a relative caregiver help that child heal through the past trauma and grow
through therapy through support and different you know caregiving styles that you can
implement and again we have a wealth of resources that are free on our champion
classrooms and your agency has those resources as well so please please reach out to
our agencies and we will be there to support you. But yeah, so the children, you
know, anytime a child is removed, such a strong sounding phrase from their families
and placed even with relatives, or if they're placed in foster care, that's
traumatic. That's trauma. That is something that no matter what their age of the
child is, they're going to feel that because different sites, different smells,
different routines, different foods, different customs, all those things are gonna be
new for the child and there's gonna be new changes for you as a caregiver. So if
the child isn't receiving therapy, that's something to explore, just to make sure
that, I like to use the term mental wellness, that their mental wellness is being
addressed and that they're receiving supports and resources for themselves.
So that's something that you can talk to the parent or parents about as well.
Sometimes there's family therapy that's involved, that can be really instrumental, that
co -parenting component as we talked about earlier, making sure you have in those
open conversations when it's safe and appropriate with the birth parents or family of
origin, that's super important. And we talked about this very important concept for
our relative caregivers. All of you, our audience that's tuning in, please do
whatever you need to do to take care of yourselves. We talked about that earlier in
this segment, and I know the term self -care gets thrown around a lot and a lot of
times all here, but Mike, I don't have time for self -care. I don't have time to
do this. I don't have time to do that. And my response back is, well,
then let's have a conversation about what we can do to prioritize your mental
wellness and your state of mind so that you can be the best for that child, the
best caregiver, and that it can be little things going for a walk, listen to music,
yoga, biking, taking a hot bath, Whatever it is that brings you joy,
peace, and comfort, and there's going to be times when you're going to need, and I
would make a list of, here's our things, bring me joy, bring me comfort.
It's going to be different for everybody that's tuning in, but make that list, and
then make sure you take time to do that for yourself, because our children need you
at their best, like I mentioned, and so taking care of yourself is going to be
important because this is something new to you being a parent, even though it might
be your sister or brother or you're the aunt and uncle and now you're the parent
or your grandfather or the grandmother and now you're the parent. That's a big
change in roles from what you were used to and so there's going
and same thing for the child that you're caring for, their self -care. What do they
like to do? What brings them joy? What brings them peace? What brings them comfort?
And you know, depending on their age, you can have that open -ended conversation with
them and be able to implement some of those things that bring them joy and comfort,
but definitely a proponent of therapy when it's appropriate and something that can
help empower the child again, because if they're coming from an environment where
there's been trauma, they're gonna need specialized resources and services. And you
can certainly reach out again to your pediatrician and other folks, the case worker
for recommendations on somebody that's a trauma -informed therapist is very important
recommendation. So they have experience, you know, providing care and services and
supports for children that have been adopted, for children that are in foster care
or children that are being cared for by relatives. So you want to have that
specialty area of a therapist that understands trauma and the healing aspect to help
them kind of guide them through the rough time and the transition period. So I
don't know if you have anything you would like to add to recommendations? - No, that
said it so very, very well. I think that, you know, it's probably important for,
I'll say it this way, it's probably important to add at this point that we are
looking at a generation of caregivers that may not have experienced therapy before
and it can feel like a big stigma, it can feel like a big hurdle to get over.
But if you can put yourself in the mindset that you're doing this to be able to
sustain this care long -term and to set the child up for success,
that might help you kind of get over that hump of the discomfort that sometimes
therapy can, or the idea of going to therapy can bring for you. And then I would
add in addition to that, if you are going to pursue therapy and it's not something
that you've done before, clue a friend into it, a friend that you really trust,
a friend that you can, you know, just bounce things off of somebody that you maybe
understands why you brought this child into your home, and just have a safe place
to process this, even how you feel about being put in the position to need or want
to go to therapy. Again, that sense of community, that sense of connection, because
therapy can be a big hurdle for a lot of families, and I get that. I totally
understand that. But it's a recommendation we give all the time, so I appreciate you
doing that. I would say, you know, just wrapping up with that thought of self -
care and therapy tied together, I think is how I feel like is a great way to end
this conversation because it just kind of encapsulates everything that we've talked
about today. Do you have a quick takeaway for our listeners?
If they could just focus on three things to do this week, what would your three
things be? Self -care, no surprise there. Make sure you take that time,
prioritize that time for yourself, make sure you enjoy the time with the child that
you're caring for, do something special, do something that maybe you guys have never
done before as a family and just embrace the moment and enjoy the moment.
So many of us get, you know, we get lost in our phones or, you know, we're doing
this and doing that and taking that time to just embrace the moment and that time
together where you're bonding and connecting and laughing and creating those memories,
that would be my number two. And number three would just be making sure that you're
keeping an open line of communication with the child's parents or parents.
Again, if it's that safe and it's appropriate and there's no court restrictions or
anything like that, Because we cannot forget how scary and how vulnerable this must
feel for the parents that they've been raising their child for how many years,
whether it's just at the beginning or it's been many years, that's a loss for them
and their routine is completely turned upside down. So how vital would it be just
to make sure that they are getting updates. This is what's happening. He or she's
doing really well. Thank you for the information you provided with me on avoid this
type of food because of X, Y, or Z that really was beneficial. So provide them
with positive feedback and keep that open line of communication open with the parents
because I think that's so important so that they know that their child, they love
their child and they want to make sure their child is being cared for. And they
know your family or your like can, but they're also, that's their child.
And we can never lose sight of that. So making sure you keep those connections
ongoing in those open lines of communication happening. Those should be my three
recommendations. - Well, that's perfect capstone and again encapsulates everything that
we just talked about so I appreciate it so much. My Keith from the Coalition for
Children, Youth, and Families in Wisconsin, we deeply appreciate your time with us
today. We appreciate your compassionate voice for all members of the relationship in
a kinship caregiving situation and thank you for the work that you're doing to
support these families. Thank you and I same to you and your organization for all
the great work that you do and I just encourage and implore families to please
reach out to agencies such as ours because we want nothing more than to make sure
that you have all the tools resources and supports available to you and but yeah
thank you for all the wonderful great work that your organization does as well. Oh
thank you very much. Thanks for listening guys and have a great day.