%20(1).jpg)
Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption & Foster Care
Are you thinking about adopting or fostering a child? Confused about all the options and wondering where to begin? Or are you an adoptive or foster parent or kinship caregiver trying to be the best parent possible to this precious child? This is the podcast for you! Every week, we interview leading experts for an hour, discussing the topics you care about in deciding whether to adopt/foster or how to be a better parent. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are the national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: weekly podcasts, weekly articles, and resource pages on all aspects of family building at our website, CreatingAFamily.org. We also have an active presence on many social media platforms. Please like or follow us on Facebook, LinkedIn, Pinterest, Instagram and X (formerly Twitter).
Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption & Foster Care
We Want to Adopt, but My Father-in-Law Has Terminal Cancer - Weekend Wisdom
Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.
Question: My father-in-law was just diagnosed with terminal cancer and given a maximum of 6 months left to live. We learned this right before our home study for older child/foster care adoption was finalized. Do you have any advice for what we should do with our adoption process moving forward? I am worried if we match before my husband is done grieving, we could add additional trauma to the child, but there is no set timeline for grieving. How do we deal with our loss while helping a child get through their loss?
Resources:
- Creating a Family Online Support Group (Facebook)
- Transitioning a Child to Your Home (Resource Page)
- Helping a Child Heal from Trauma (Resource Page)
Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.
Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
- Weekly podcasts
- Weekly articles/blog posts
- Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Please pardon any errors; this is an automated transcript.
Welcome to this week's Week in Wisdom. This is our opportunity to answer your
questions. We have a podcast, another podcast, each week where we interview for about
an hour an expert or someone with a lived experience on a topic relevant to foster
adoptive or kinship parenting. But Week in Wisdom is where we answer your questions.
So please send us your questions to info @creatingafamily .org or you can click on
the link in the show notes. All right, let's jump right in. This is a question we
got from Catherine. She says, "Hi, I have a question for weekend wisdom. "My father
-in -law was just diagnosed with terminal cancer "and given a maximum of six months
left to live. "We learned this right before our home study "for an older child
through foster care adoption "was finalized. "Do you have any advice for what we
should do "with our adoption process moving forward. I am worried if we match before
my husband is done grieving. We could add additional trauma onto the child,
but there is no timeline for grieving. How do we deal with our own loss while
helping a child get through their loss? Thank you. All right, Katherine, this is a
great question, and let me start by stressing that I am not a mental health
provider, so I'm answering this question about how I might handle it not as a
professional. And first, I am so sorry for this horrible news about your father -in
-law. This is indeed a very tough time for your family. I think the first question
I would ask is whether this is the right time to make another big change to your
family. There's going to be lots of disruptions in your family life and your
schedule during the six or so months. There'll be lots of stress, lots of lands on
everyone, and of course, lots of grief. And you might consider that right now is
not the ideal time to add a new child to the family. Now, how long you wait after
your father -in -law dies will really depend on how your husband and kids, assuming
that you have other kids, however everybody is dealing. You don't really get over
the death of a parent and you are never really, quote, "done grieving," but the
intense period of grief should lessen with time. And it seems reasonable to wait for
a period of time afterwards to see how everyone is coping and what their bandwidth
is for the inevitable ups and downs of adding a new child to the family. I don't
think you have to wait until there is no grief left because well, that isn't
realistic. And honestly, that isn't even really desirable. I think, however, you want
to wait until the rawness is left, and your husband and other kid's energy and
ability to cope has re -found its equilibrium. And then honestly, it could be that
the experience of going through this loss could help you all better understand what
your new child is going through. Empathy is often more powerful than sympathy. Again,
I am so sorry that you were dealing with this and I will keep you and your family
and my thoughts during this time. And thanks for submitting your until we can
wisdom. And before everyone goes, let me remind you that creating a family has a
monthly e -newsletter. We curate the best of the parenting resources that we have
found that month. It's easy to unsubscribe if it's not meeting your needs.
So check it out at creatingafamily .org /newsletter.
And I will see you next week.