How to Adopt in 2025

Are you considering adopting a child this year? We've got answers to all (or most) of your questions. Join our discussion with Teresa Bernu, the Executive Director at Adoption Center of Illinois. She is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and has worked extensively in the areas of domestic infant adoption, foster care, and guardianship. We will also talk with Steve Valdez, the Chief Operating Officer at Hand in Hand International Adoptions.  He holds a Master of Divinity and an M.A. in Psychology. He’s an adopted dad of 5 kids through foster care adoption.

In this episode, we discuss:

Domestic infant private adoption in the US

• What is the process?
• What are the reasons that pregnant moms are placing their children for adoption?
• Matching-Expectant parent choice
• The Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC)
• Open adoption
• Special needs of children available
• How long does it take? What factors influence this time?
• How much does it cost? What factors influence this cost?
• How do failed matches when an expectant mom decides to parent rather than go through with an adoption plan impact the cost of domestic adoption?
• Adoption agency and adoption attorney
• What is the first step prospective adoptive parents should take if they are interested in adopting a baby?

Adoptions from foster care in the US

• What is the process?
• Adopting your foster child
• Adopting a waiting child
• What are the reasons that children come into foster care in the US?
• What age and race of child is available for adoption from foster care?
• Special needs? Trauma, prenatal substance exposure
• How long does it take?
• How much does it cost?
• What is the first step prospective adoptive parents should take if they are interested in adopting from foster care?

International adoptions to the US

• What is the process?
• What types of special needs do children available for adoption from abroad have?
• How long does it take? What factors influence this time?
• How much does it cost? What factors influence this cost?
• What is the first step prospective adoptive parents should take if they are interested in adopting internationally?

Additional resources:

• Adoptions in the US: How Many? How Much? How Long?
• Choosing an Adoption Agency or Attorney

Transcript

Please pardon any errors, this is an automated transcript.
Dawn Davenport  0:00  
Welcome everyone to Creating a Family. Talk about foster, adoptive and kinship care. I'm Dawn Davenport. I am both the host of this show as well as the director of the nonprofit creating a family.org Today we're going to be talking about how to adopt. We'll be talking with Teresa Bernu. She is the executive director at Adoption Center of Illinois. She is a licensed clinical social worker and has worked extensively in the areas of domestic infant adoption, foster care and guardianship. We'll also be talking with Steve Valdez. He is the chief operating officer at Hand in Hand International adoption. He holds a Masters of divinity and an MA in psychology. He is also an adopted dad of five kids through foster care, adoption. All right. Well, welcome Teresa and Steve. This is a popular topic for our audience, as you could well imagine. So let's jump in. Though, the way this is going to be formatted is we're going to talk about first domestic infant private adoptions in the US. Then we're going to talk about adopting from foster care, and then we're going to be talking about international adoption. So that's kind of the general layout we're going to be following here. All right, let's start with domestic infant that Teresa is more your area of specialty. So I'll direct most of my questions and the domestic infant adoption area to you All right, so what is the process of domestic infant adoption for families who are considering that? Sure,

Speaker 1  1:33  
so all adoptions require a home study, which I like to think of as both a process and a product. So the process is going to start with education and training. And the goal here is really to prepare families for the unique issues and responsibilities that come along with adoptive parenting. This includes relationships with birth families, prenatal substance exposure, trans racial adoption, talking to children about adoption and more. And then the second part of that process involves the assessment and interviews. And tied into this is submitting paperwork. There's a lot of paperwork involved with adoption, and that includes medical history, finances, reference, letters and much more. Then there will be interviews, both joint and individual, if there are two parents, as well as an in home safety assessment, and all of this results in a report that will either approve or adopt a family for adoption after the home study is finalized, families will enter what is typically the most difficult part of the process, which is the waiting period, definitely, until they are matched. And then next comes placement, hopefully, and that will include the interstate compact on placement of children, if this is an interstate adoption. After that, this is, of course, a very brief and condensed version of what happens here. After that. Finalization of the adoption is going to occur, typically within six months, depending on the state in which families adopted from.

Dawn Davenport  2:57  
All right, let's go back and unpack some of that. Let's talk about the matching process. I think there's a lot of misunderstanding. In fact, matching is perhaps not even the correct word. It is certainly the word we have used in the past. Let's talk about what we mean in 2025 when we're talking about matching.

Speaker 1  3:16  
Sure. So I would say the majority of situations, the expectant parent or parents are the ones choosing the family they want to place their child with. So gone are the days of the agency playing matchmaker, and again, this is the majority of situations. So they do this by reviewing family profiles. Think of these as photo books, where families have the opportunity to show what life would be like for a child living with them, and then hopefully, this would result in a match meeting where they can meet each other in person, and the expectant parent would decide whether they want to proceed with this match or not. Every once in a while, there will be a situation where someone does not want to choose, in which case the agency would then get involved with that process. Gotcha.

Dawn Davenport  4:01  
And from the standpoint of the adoptive parents, how many adoptive parent profiles is an expectant mom shown? Are expected parents if the dad is involved? Too

Speaker 1  4:12  
sure. So I think every agency does this differently. With our agency, every profile that meets the criteria of which an expectant parent is open to will be presented. We want them to have every option available to them. So we start by asking them what they're looking for, whether a religious background or a family that lives, you know, in an urban area or not, whether they're parenting other children. So we narrow down that criteria for them a little bit, and then we will show them all families that

Dawn Davenport  4:40  
means that so they may have quite a number of profile books to go through, all right. And other agencies handle it differently. Other agencies try to limit it to five or whatever to make it more doable. So you have to check with your agency on that you mentioned the interstate compact for the placement of children, ICPC. So how does that so if I live in my state and I'm adopting a child from a different state, how does that work? What should I expect? Yeah,

Speaker 1  5:07  
so say you are adopting a child from Minnesota and you live in Illinois, so you will go to Minnesota for the placement, of course, and the placing agency in Minnesota is going to submit all of the paperwork to the interstate compact office, which is a branch of we call it the Department of Children and Family Services here in Illinois. And so they will review all the paperwork, make sure everything has been done in accordance with the law there in Minnesota. And then they will sign off on it and send it to the receiving state. So in this scenario, it would be Illinois, and then Illinois would then review everything and make sure it's been done in accordance with their law and sign off on it before the family is able to travel home.

Dawn Davenport  5:47  
How much time does this add to the process and and where is the family would have a newborn, the newborn that the child has been born. What's happening to the family and the child during this time?

Speaker 1  5:58  
Typically, they are in a hotel, which is less than ideal. I tell families to prepare for up to two weeks. Some states are more efficient in reviewing these packets than others, but I typically say two weeks is a very safe expectation to have.

Dawn Davenport  6:13  
Yeah, that's where I got to tell you. Airbnb has got to help. Absolutely the RBO, yeah, not in a actual hotel. Yes, that's good point. Good point. Yeah, yeah, thank goodness we have improved in there. All right, the vast majority of domestic infant adoptions in the US have some degree of openness, but I think there is a misunderstanding of what we even mean by open, open adoption. And I like to say there is no definition. There is no it's not a defined term. It's not precise as to what we mean. So let's talk about openness. It's a question we get a lot absolutely

Speaker 1  6:54  
so certainly that can be on a spectrum, and it can evolve over time. You know this will be a relationship like no other in your life, and what someone thinks they want at the beginning of the placement can change five years down the road. It can change 18 years down the road. So this can look anything from exchanging photos a few times throughout the year, it can be agency mediated, and so if someone wants the family to submit photos through the agency and have them passed along, that's an option. It can be meeting up a couple times a year. It can be even more than that, you know, babysitting or coming over for family dinner every once in a while. So really, it runs the gamut. It could even be grandma is involved, but the biological parents are not. So at our agency, we we don't even really use the terms open and closed. We like to use what's called the extended family network approach, which is more so the example we use is, you know, you know you have Aunt Susie, who you never see, or cousin Joe, but you still think of them as family. And you know, they're still family, and they're part of who you are and where you come from, and so it kind of embodies more the spirit of openness, which is something we encourage families to incorporate into their own family culture.

Dawn Davenport  8:08  
A question that we have heard is, if I don't want an open adoption, do I stand a chance of having a being able to adopt or being chosen by an expectant parent?

Speaker 1  8:19  
I'm a little more progressive in in this area, and I would say that until you're ready to accept that this is something that comes along with adoption, you should not pursue it. So I think families would be hard pressed to find an agency that would be open to working with them if they say they are not open to any contact at all. These days, certainly, there are some situations where there will not be contact, and that is a biological parent's choice. But what we know nowadays is that it is in the child's best interest to have contact if it is available and if it is a healthy relationship.

Dawn Davenport  8:54  
What are the typical special needs you see with the children that are available now in 2025 for adoption.

Speaker 1  9:03  
So I would say the most common we see is prenatal substance exposure. But like any child who's born to a biological parent be raised by a biological parent, there's the risk of any kind of quote, unquote, special need that I would say the most common that we see and are aware of is prenatal substance exposure.

Dawn Davenport  9:22  
How often do expectant moms acknowledge alcohol use with drug use? We can often tell because blood testing are meconium testing or whatever is available. So that is known. However, alcohol is not known, but a greater causes greater impact for the fetus and subsequent child for life. So how often do you see moms acknowledging alcohol use in

Speaker 1  9:50  
our experience as an agency? Approximately 60% of the time. Gotcha.

Dawn Davenport  9:54  
And I wonder sometimes, if that's I hear agencies saying that they don't have moms who. Acknowledge alcohol. But I have to wonder if that's also because of the way that the mom is being approached, and that if you are encouraging and a safe place for her to acknowledge use if she has drank, then she was more likely to acknowledge Do you see that as well? I guess you don't, because your agency clearly, if you're saying about 60% you're clearly encouraging full disclosure.

Speaker 1  10:27  
Hopefully, that is the case. You know, we really do encourage people to share as much as they can, and stress that this isn't about judging or, you know, it's really just about making sure that the needs of the child can be met right

Dawn Davenport  10:39  
in the family. Let me throw out that creating a family has a phenomenal prenatal substance exposure workshop for parents, or would be parents, if you're considering a child who's had alcohol or drug exposure, it is really a terrific workshop. You can get more information at Bitly, B, i, t, dot, l, y, slash, prenatal dash substance, dash exposure. All right, how long does domestic adoption take? And then also, what factors influence this time,

Unknown Speaker  11:13  
another favorite question of people to ask, Oh,

Dawn Davenport  11:16  
yes, almost every time, yes,

Speaker 1  11:18  
and a hard one to answer. So again, the process starts with the home study, and I would say that takes about three to six months, but a lot of that is going to depend on how quickly a family can submit the paperwork. You know, it's not uncommon that there will be a hurdle. You know, whether it's waiting on a letter from a physician or something comes up with a family, they move situations like that once they are waiting, active and waiting with an agency, home study is done. Home study is done. They're finalized. Their book is out. There. Gotcha, I would say typically 18 months has been what we are seeing more recently. But you know, it could be three months, it could be three years. It really just depends. And I know that's not the answer people like to hear, but it's the reality when the expectant parents are the ones looking at the books and choosing the family for their child. So

Dawn Davenport  12:08  
what factors influence the amount of time that someone will write? I

Speaker 1  12:13  
would say one of the bigger factors is what they are open to. So the more restricted you are, the less often your book is being presented so that, just statistically, you'll be less likely when

Dawn Davenport  12:23  
you say what you're open to, you mean whether the child has been exposed to alcohol or drugs. And you may say, I would accept this exposure, but not this exposure. Yes, gender, although I think some agencies don't even allow you to specify the gender of the baby. What other things were to be open to race,

Speaker 1  12:42  
race age. You know, most children being placed through these programs are going to be infants, but what is your definition of infant? You know, it could be a three month old, it could be a six month old, it could be a actual infant who was just being born. So, okay, but I would say those, are the main things that are impacting this particular area. And then how many policing agencies a family is registered with? So some might be working with One Agency, and then other families will choose to register with three or four, which, again, is just increasing the exposure and how often they are presented. Yeah.

Dawn Davenport  13:17  
And that leads us into the next question, which is, how much does it cost? And then what factors influence the cost? One factor that influences the cost is how many agencies you are registered with, or that you are working with for finding a match. Yes, but let's talk about cost in general. And there's going to be a range. And then what factors influence it? Yes, there's

Speaker 1  13:39  
a huge range, and this is going to be based on what I've seen in the last couple of years with families who are working with both attorneys and agencies out of state, as well as ours. And that's anywhere from 15,000 to 55,000 so the 15,000 is closer to the agency fees that you would be paying. And I would say if you're working with an agency, it would be closer to 30,000 to 55,000

Dawn Davenport  14:03  
Wait, wait, what you said 15 was for an agency, then you said 30 to 35 was for an agency. I got lost. I apologize.

Speaker 1  14:11  
What I meant is 15,000 if you were working with an attorney, gotcha

Dawn Davenport  14:15  
Okay, and they're not providing as many services. Let's I mean. Let's pause here to acknowledge that you can adopt through an adoption agency, or you can adopt through an adoption attorney, but the adoption attorneys generally, I always say that it's more of an a la carte, a buffet style, and you're paying for each individual thing, including the legal services. When you go to an agency, it's a full course meal. They're covering the legal they're covering a lot of the individual costs, including the counseling for the expectant parents and then birth parents after they placed Yes.

Speaker 1  14:50  
So another big factor is going to be the expectant or birth parent expenses, so whether they need support with rent, groceries, medical expenses. Things of that nature while working with the agency, and how many matches you have during that process, if someone ultimately decides to parent after financial support has been provided, there could be some financial risk there, depending on the how the fees are structured with an agency, and then again, how many agencies are registered with. You know, some agencies, including ours, we have families. Their fees go into a pool of funds, and so they don't pay per situation that they are matched with, which reduces some of the financial risk. But again, every agency is going to structure differently, and

Dawn Davenport  15:32  
something that people often don't know is that each state has different laws as to what is allowed for. It's called birth mother expenses. Technically, it would be expected mom expenses, but some states allow a lot to be covered, and hence, the adoptive parents, if they're matched with expectant mom in that state, would expect to pay more. And other states are very selective as to what is allowed. You mentioned failed placements or failed matches, that happens in a number of scenarios, but the most typical one is the expected parent. Or parents select an adoptive parent they go through, but at some point, often at birth, but sometimes before they change their mind and decide to parent and not go through with an adoption plan, but at this point, the adoptive parents have paid for a home study. They've paid for the expenses for the expectant parent. They've incurred costs setting up their their profile book. I'm not trying to think of some other costs. They probably would have experienced an agency fee or attorney fees as well. So what happens at that point to that money?

Speaker 1  16:43  
So it will depend on the agency. Some families might take a break before starting up again or becoming active in the program again. Our agency again. We don't have families pay additional fees depending on a match. It just goes into a pool. But I know with other agencies, some families have to pay again once they match with a new situation. So that is certainly a question families should be asking when they register

Dawn Davenport  17:08  
Exactly. Those are the questions that you need to think through to figure out what happens if a match fails. All right, so last question, what is the first step prospective adoptive parents should take if they're interested in adopting a baby in the US?

Speaker 1  17:23  
Research, absolutely, research. And I think starting to learn about different adoption related topics that will be part of your agency's responsibility is educating you on that. But I think dipping your toe there and then researching agencies, it's going to be one of the biggest decisions you make in this process. Who you want to work with, attending different program introduction meetings, if they offer those, or consultations with you know, a member of the staff, I think that's the best place to start.

Dawn Davenport  17:51  
One thing I tell parents is, if the agency is not interested or not pushing, supporting and training and educating you, they are not invested in your long term success, so something to consider when you're interviewing let me take a moment to send out a shout of thanks to the jockey. Being Family Foundation. They are a long time supporter of both the nonprofit creating a family, but also this podcast. And one thing they do for us is allow us to bring you the it's actually the jockey being family free courses. They are courses that are really geared for people who are actively parenting. You can find them at Bitly, slash, J B F, support, B, i, t, dot, l, y, slash, J B F, support. They come with a certificate of completion if you need that for CE credit. But if you're a parent and don't need that, there's still a terrific way to improve your parenting. So check it out at Bitly slash JBf support. Okay, now we have covered domestic infant adoption in the US, so now we're going to be moving to talk about adopting from foster care. Steve, we get to have you join us both as for personal experience as well as work experience and Theresa, you get to continue to hang out with us here. One thing I want everyone to know at the beginning is the goal of foster care is not adoption. So we need to go into it understanding that the goal when a child has been removed and placed into foster care is to help that family heal and get the child back into their birth family. If that does not happen, the second goal is to find extended family, a grandma, grandpa, aunt, uncle, whomever, who could care for the child. However, in about 25% of the cases, a child will become available for adoption. In fact, adopting from foster care is the largest area of adopting in the US. So we're going to talk about the process. I may give some brief background, and then Steve, I'm going to jump in to asking you about it. But briefly, there are two ways to adopt from foster care. One, you can register, you become a licensed foster parent, and you will be fostering this child in your home if the plan for that child shifts from reunification to adoption. Most often, they go to the foster parents and say, ask if they are interested in adopting this child. And again, go back to the statistic. We tell people, it's probably not going to be the first child that you're fostering, but about 25% of the time. And if you foster long enough, chances are good you will be given the option of adopting one of the children, but you have to be willing to be a soft landing place and to work with healing of the birth family in getting this these kids back to their biological family. The other way to adopt from foster care is to adopt a child whose parental rights have already been terminated. Their reunification is off the table, and they're actively looking for a home. All right, Steve, let's talk some about the waiting children process. That means children's whose parental rights have already been terminated, and these kids are waiting for a permanent placement and adoptive placement. Do you know about how many kids we have that are in that boat, in the US?

Speaker 2  21:19  
I don't know that specific number, and I imagine that on a day to day or month to month basis, that number shifts quite significantly in one direction or the other. We

Dawn Davenport  21:29  
always throw out 100,000 but you're exactly right, and of those 100,000 some are going to be adopted by their foster family, but they can get lumped into that because the adoption has not been finalized. Go ahead

Speaker 2  21:42  
and so the majority of the children that typically are waiting already with parental rights having been terminated are kiddos that have been in the system for a longer period of time or entered in as older children. As you can imagine, many people are interested in taking, you know, young children into their homes and into their families, because it fits the obvious chronological order that we kind of have, you know in the back of our minds. And sometimes older children and sibling groups you know are the kids that end up sort of waiting longer and longer in these situations. And this is very similar to international adoption as well. And so families who are open to adopting those types of children from foster care are highly sought after. I imagine this is not just a California thing or a regional thing that it is. It's across the board from one side of the country to the other. Yep,

Dawn Davenport  22:42  
exactly. The children who are waiting, as you say, are usually older or parts of larger sibling groups. Steve, what are the reasons that children come into foster care?

Speaker 2  22:52  
They are as simple and as wide ranging as you would expect. No big surprises where that is concerned. Substance use and abuse, of course, is always a significant factor in many of the children ending up in the situations. Domestic violence is also something that unfortunately enters the equation for many of those kiddos from an early age. Other situations range wide range from, you know, accidents and tragedies, right?

Dawn Davenport  23:24  
The number one thing is neglect, but neglect falls under parents who are struggling with substance use disorders are by definition neglectful because they're struggling with addiction, or, I should say, most often are abuse is further down the list. So abuse is less common, neglect, caused by any number of things is most common. Theresa, what are the ages and races of children available for adoption from foster care? And again, we'll probably have to divide that between whether you're going in as a licensed foster parent versus seeking only children who are currently waiting for a permanent placement? Sure.

Speaker 1  24:06  
So starting with race, so children in the foster care system, it's about 43% are white, 23% are Hispanic or Latino, and then 21% black, African American, and then multi racial, 9% and then smaller percentages going from there. And then there is a racial discrepancy between children in the foster care system into those being adopted from the foster care system. So it's 51% are being adopted who are white, versus the 43% that are in the foster care system, 20% Hispanic, Latino versus the 23% that are in the system, 16% black or African American, versus the 21% that are in the foster care system. And then multiracial is even at 9%

Dawn Davenport  24:52  
interesting. What about age of the the average age of a child who is currently waiting to be adopted the.

Speaker 1  24:59  
Average age of a child waiting to be adopted is 6.9 I believe, and then the average age of a child entering the foster care system is around there as well, right?

Dawn Davenport  25:10  
And the reason that the distinction is even reunification is often easier for younger children. So as a foster parent, you specify what age child you're wanting to foster what you think would be the best fit for your family, and if a child that's placed with you becomes available, that could range from infant all the way up to 18 or beyond. But for children whose parental rights have been terminated and they're currently waiting, we've got that somewhere around the six to seven, right? Okay, Steve, what are some of the special needs that we see for kids who are adopted are waiting to be or foster kids who might be adopted through foster care?

Speaker 2  25:51  
Yeah, typically, you're going to see the same range of special needs that you would in any you know, family in any community. Some of those are related to medical conditions that the children were born with. So those require more attention, more doctor's appointments, those types of things. There are some kiddos who have, you know, something like eczema, which is considered in some places, a special need, but we know you can get a cream for it down at the pharmacy. So when you go into a foster situation, you are essentially having a conversation with a social worker about what kinds of needs do you think you're going to be able to meet in the children that will come into your care? And I think for every family, that's very different, and that's absolutely fine. We like to talk to our families about knowing your special powers and what those are, and being okay with those being your special powers. You know, not every family has every special power, and there's nothing wrong with that, because there are plenty of kids out there in need with all different kinds of needs who need different special powers. So it's really about knowing who you are, what you're able to provide, and then being willing to accept any child that might have a special need for you to be there for them. I

Dawn Davenport  27:14  
would add to that, every child who has come into foster care has experienced trauma. If life is going great, kids do not need to be come into the care of the state. That's just not how it happens, and just the fact that these children are being removed from their home is traumatic, regardless of We might as adults say, oh, but it wasn't a good environment, and this foster placement is going to be a much better environment. That's not how most children would perceive it, it is still traumatic. So the number one special need would be trauma and understanding trauma. Call it trauma informed parenting, understanding how your parenting needs to change. And the other one I would throw out is that the vast majority of children adopted are available for adoption through foster care have been exposed prenatally to drugs or alcohol. Stands to reason because, I mean, the stats are somewhere 75 but I've talked to experts who would say, oh, it's much higher than that, but 75% of them have been exposed. And it stands to reason because we know that parents struggling with substance abuse disorder are very high in the children who are removed and and people don't generally just start using drugs and then immediately have the children removed. So chances are good they were using during pregnancy. So those are important considerations to think about. Teresa. How long does it take to adopt a child again? Let's talk about if you're actively the foster parent versus you are the going in saying I want to adopt a child. I don't want to be a foster parent. I want to adopt a waiting child.

Unknown Speaker  28:50  
Another hard question, Don

Dawn Davenport  28:53  
Well, that's what you get the big bucks for sending them your way. These questions,

Speaker 1  28:58  
all right, so this is difficult only because the case goal. It could take a very long time for a case goal to change to adoption. It's challenging to answer because every situation is going to be case by case. I don't really even know if there is. There probably is a statistic for the average. I know children typically spend two plus years in the foster care system. I don't know what percentage of that ends in adoption. In

Dawn Davenport  29:25  
theory, the law says that the child needs to have permanency within two years, and so that what that means is that the again, I'm going back to in theory, because there's so many ways this doesn't work the way that we're saying it, but the child's parent usually will have a plan that they need to it could be taking parenting classes. It could be going into rehab and staying clean. It could be getting a job, getting a house or an apartment, some place to live. It could be any number of things, including making regular visits with the child. And some of those are, you know, they're lofty. Goals for some family, so it takes them longer, and nobody wants to be ripping kids away from parents. That's not what we're about. So let's just say, roughly, if you're going in as a foster parent, and I can just there, there are people listening to this, going, Oh, it takes longer. And it's it's true. It can take longer the child can go back, reunify, and then some of the same issues resurface, and the child comes back into care. So yeah, we're this is all just kind of a general rule of thumb. So okay, let's say, if you're the foster parent for the child's permanency plan to shift from reunification to adoption roughly two years, of course. Then there's some times where it's less because we know that the parent has been abusive or it just goes AWOL and it's not around, right? So what about for waiting children that you know? So you're saying, I don't want to, I don't want to foster, and then, you know, foster a number of children before I get a placement. I only want a child who is currently available.

Speaker 1  30:58  
Yes. So in theory, you would think that would be much faster.

Dawn Davenport  31:02  
In theory, you would think that

Speaker 1  31:06  
you would Yes. So we actually offer a program that specifically helps families adopt from the foster care system, and exclusively for these cases, there is no shortage of hurdles and stumbling blocks within the child welfare system and and a lot of this is also the matching process. There still is a matching process, and to making sure, you know, like Steve was saying, that it is a good fit and you have the skills and to be superpowers needed to meet a child's needs. And so I, I honestly, I think it is close to two years as well.

Dawn Davenport  31:36  
Is the child living with you during that period, or during most of that period, no,

Speaker 1  31:42  
typically it's around, I would say six to 12 months. It's a minimum of six months in Illinois, but it could be up to 12 months or more before the adoption is able to finalize.

Dawn Davenport  31:52  
So the child during that period of time, if you live near the child, there may be visitations, there may be meeting the child then, so there could be before the child actually moves in with you. And then there is the process of the child's living with you, but you have to go through the adoption process. And as you said, six months at a minimum for just about any state, but the child is actually living with you during that period of time, correct? And the matching process is different, I should add, because generally it is a committee in the child welfare system. Could be called the Family committee, or it could be the matching committee, or whatever. It's got different names that that group of social workers, including the child's case worker, is looking at prospective families and trying to select one. It's seldom the at this point, seldom the birth family. All right, Steve, what does it cost to adopt from foster care?

Speaker 2  32:50  
This is one that I might defer, actually, just because it's it's been a while since I was involved in foster care. In that way, I will say that, you know, one of the reasons that we did end up there doing foster care was because there wasn't a crazy expense to it in the county that we did it. It was a really affordable way to build a family while also contributing to our community by helping kiddos that needed a place temporarily as well. So I'm sure that there are some places where there are fees associated. But for us, one of the drawing points to that was that it is a much, significantly, you know, less expensive process.

Dawn Davenport  33:38  
Theresa, I'll throw it over to you again. Let's say, if you're adopting as a foster parent, is there a charge? If

Speaker 1  33:45  
you're adopting as a foster parent, there will not be a charge, and the majority of cases, there will also be a subsidy that comes along with the child, which is basically a monthly stipend. And that amount will vary depending on the child and their needs, and also the state, typically, until they turn 18,

Dawn Davenport  34:02  
and they also are usually covered by Medicaid. So their health insurance is covered in some states also provide, fact, probably most states will provide tuition for in state universities, yes. And

Speaker 1  34:15  
they'll cover legal fees, of course, adoption, okay, yep. And then for the more niche, if you will, programs like ours that help families adopt from out of state foster care systems. It requires a different home study, and then our post placement supervision and some other services. And so there is a fee associated with that, but far less than domestic infant adoption. We

Dawn Davenport  34:37  
generally say that it doesn't cost anything if you're adopting directly from foster care, if you're connecting with agencies that are trying to help you find a placement, then you have to pay their fee and Theresa. What should be the first step if a prospective adoptive parent should take if they're interested in adopting from foster care,

Speaker 1  34:57  
similar to domestic adoption, I would say, doing. Research. You know, I think foster care adoption is different from domestic adoption. I will say in that there is that additional trauma. There's a layer of trauma without adoption, but specifically with foster care adoption, that's something you really need to educate yourself on before going down this road. And so I would say doing additional research before even pursuing it is where families should start.

Dawn Davenport  35:22  
Okay, excellent. And then your first decision you're going to have to make is whether you are open to being a foster parent, which means you will have a number of kids come into your house. You get to choose ages and special needs of these kids, and you will be receiving training before they come, and you should be receiving support after they're placed in your home, but that's the first decision point you have to make. And if you're going to be a foster parent, then you will usually work with either your county or the parish child welfare agency. Or in many states, they have contracts with private agencies that are contracted to do home studies and provide support and even in many cases, place children in your home. So those that's the first step if you were interested in not becoming a foster parent, but only being a family for a waiting child, the easiest way is to still try with your public child welfare agency or any private agency that there your state is contracted with, that would be the first step. And oftentimes you don't find or not often, but sometimes you won't find a child that that meets what you think you're best able to parent. And then you can connect with agencies that have a broader network and can go in other states, and help you navigate that. Before we continue, I want to ask you to send us your questions for us to answer on our weekend wisdom podcast, we answer them in about five or so minutes. Terrific resource. It's a fun show. It's different from this show, no guest, just us answering questions. So send us your questions at info, at creating a family.org or you can go to a link in the show notes. So send us your questions, please. And now back to the show. All right, jumping now to international adoption. Boy, Steve, this is your expertise. And boy, has that? Has that changed a lot in the last Well, certainly 15 years, but even the last five years? So let's talk about the process. First, what is the process for adopting internationally? Sure.

Speaker 2  37:38  
So yes, you are absolutely correct. Dodd, the the whole international adoption world has shifted pretty significantly over the last couple of decades as a result of new laws that have taken effect, not just in the United States but around the world, a community of over 100 countries coming together saying, Hey, this is how we think children and families are best served by an international adoption process. And so a lot of things about international adoption shifted when those new laws and guidelines came into place and made the process a complex one, but one that really does aim to protect all of the rights and well beings of children and families that are caring for the child before and after an adoption. So when you think about international adoption, you really have to think of it as two significant processes kind of rolled up into one, because there is, of course, the transfer of parental rights of a child, from the biological birth parents to the adoptive parents, but it is also the shift of citizenship from the country of birth to the United States as families are adopting children into the US. And so both of those processes are in play from the very beginning of an international adoption that process really does truly center around a home study, which is very similar to the home study that is done for domestic or foster adoption, except that it is truly a holistic sort of picture of who a person or a family that is adopting internationally are from, you know, the time of birth until the present day, with a real focus on, you know, sharing who those people are in every facet of their life. Because, believe it or not, the international countries that you know, every agency here partners with. They don't ever have a face to face meeting with the families that will be adopting from their country. They rely entirely on our US, agencies and the home studies that are prepared by social workers to be able to approve a family to adopt from their country. And then also, they use that same information. As match criteria to be able to find the best possible match for a child and a family together. And so the home study becomes that central part of the dossier that is filed with the foreign country that they use for these important decisions. So every international home study will start and will be centered international adoption rather, will be centered around this home study document. But once that home study is done, there is also US immigration paperwork that begins right away, so that all of that is taken care of before a family even travels to a foreign country, so that by the time they're traveling home from picking up their new children, in most cases, the adoption is already completed, and the child is theirs, as if they had given birth to them biologically, and the child is already a US citizen by the time they step foot on US soil and receive the stamp in their passport saying they've arrived to the US entry point. So international adoption is a process of many, many complex steps that are all intentionally woven together in a specific order that will allow every unique case to get from start to finish in the most orderly fashion possible.

Dawn Davenport  41:21  
And if those listening are going, oh my gosh, this seems so complex, what you need to know is that this is where the agency comes in. They are the experts. They most agencies work in a specific number of countries, and they are the experts on certainly the US immigration, but also on the laws of that country. And so one of the first things you do, and we'll come to that in a minute, is select an agency that's going to be guiding you so you don't have to know it all. Is the whole point. The agency has to know it all. So, Steve, what type of special needs to children available for adoption from abroad have

Speaker 2  42:01  
you know, very similar to the special needs I was talking about just a few minutes ago. Don where foster care adoption is concerned, we see a range very, very similar internationally. It can pretty heavily skew towards substance use and abuse and domestic violence, depending on what country you're talking about. But poverty is, of course, at the center of all of the cases. Really, I should say the vast majority of cases that that occur anywhere, because it feeds into so many of these other systems, as we all know. And maybe that's a different podcast. No,

Dawn Davenport  42:39  
you know what we say is that children enter state care the world over for all the same reasons. It's dysfunctional family. I mean, be it neglect, be it abuse, although sometimes poverty, and in the US, poverty is a factor as well. We like to think that it isn't, but in fact, neglect can sometimes be disguised as poverty, or poverty can be disguised as neglect. Yes, so you're right. We still seeing a greater number of children with significant medical needs. It used to be that was the case, and in the US, we see fewer of those foster care, but heart problems, limb issues, amniotic banding, things like that. Is that still something we see a fair amount of that's

Speaker 2  43:21  
a really great question, Don because it's, in fact, one of the questions that I get asked most frequently by new prospective parents during initial meetings with them. You know, because they hear special needs and they immediately jump to, this, is a child who needs a transplant or has this, you know, condition that requires, you know, hospitalization regularly, or all these crazy appointments. And the truth of the matter is that the two largest special needs that we see out there today really are older children and sibling groups. Those are the two hardest populations of children to match with families, and so countries have identified those as special needs now, and of course, we see so many children that that meet criteria to be fit in those categories that, you know, that's kind of lost in everyone's initial perception of the term special needs when they think of, you know, medications that might be needed or therapies that might be needed. Yeah,

Dawn Davenport  44:22  
exactly. Special Needs we think of as being medical, and we do see more medical special needs international adoption. But again, just like in foster care, older kids and sibling groups are the harder to place, and so those are the where the greatest need is, right. All right. Steve, how long does it take to adopt internationally and again? Then what factors influence this time?

Speaker 2  44:45  
Yeah, so it ranges depending on the country that you are wanting to adopt from. Certainly, that's one of the more significant factors. But you know, we generally tell our families listen the countries that. We work with. We know how they operate. We know what the general timetable is for them, and we share that timetable with our families, and we say the true driver for whether or not this is going to take longer or shorter is you, and the effort that you put in on the parts that are your responsibility. You know, for a family that is willing to come in and say, Okay, what do I need to do? And they get a list, and they say, boom, boom, boom, and knock it out. One after the other, the adoption is going to move on a faster timeline each of the foreign countries take as long as they're going to take. There's nothing that we can do to really influence that. So what really influences the process the most is how timely a family is in their completion of all of their tasks within an international adoption process. That being said, we generally tell families that in as soon as two years, or as long as five years, adoptions can be completed through the programs that our agency has, and those are pretty reflective of the averages that we're seeing from any agency across the country. So international adoption, if someone's telling you it's going to be significantly shorter than two years from the time that you start your process, I would ask some more questions. And if someone's saying it's going to take a lot longer than five years, I would ask some more questions. But anywhere in that range is a pretty fair guesstimate. Because, in all honesty, because every situation is so different and unique, it is a guesstimate until you get a lot closer to the completion of the of the process.

Dawn Davenport  46:43  
Again, your agency is your guy. They are the experts from that country. They've processed they know in the last year about how long this is the average, and they're going to be able to answer that question, all right, Steve, the next question is, how much does it cost, and what factors influence this?

Speaker 2  46:59  
Yeah, yeah. So just like the timeline, the cost is is also very influenced by the country that you're adopting from. Each country has the opportunity to set the own fee structure for adoptions from their country, and so it ranges pretty significantly depending on what the needs within that country are, and so we generally see a range anywhere from 20 to 55 or so $1,000 for an adoption of one child from a foreign country. The one thing that I want to stress the most, probably during our time together today, is that sibling adoptions do not mean a multiplication of that expense. Now, depending on the country, of course, it can increase the cost of an adoption, but it's typically more like increase of five to $10,000 for an additional child, rather than a multiple of the 20 to 50,000 and a lot of families don't know that, and I think it scares families off. So I want to make sure everybody listening knows sibling groups are out there, and it's not as expensive as they think it is, in order to consider adopting a sibling group internationally,

Dawn Davenport  48:21  
and one of the reasons is that a significant cost in international adoption is travel, and that's not a multiple. That cost does not multiply. That's right, when you're in country, all right, Steve, what's the first step prospective adoptive parents should take if they're interested in adopting a child from another country?

Speaker 2  48:39  
I laugh when you ask that, Don because everyone who I've ever spoken to about international adoption will tell you that this is the first thing that I tell them that they should do, and that is, start with research. I'm a Research geek, and I like being well aware of what I'm getting myself into before I get into it. But I think, where adoption is concerned, there are so many different options out there. There are so many, you know, in terms of which way you're going to go in adoption alone. We discussed three of them today during the program when you make the decision to go internationally. There are also, you know, dozens of country programs that you can choose from, and once you've selected a country, there are half a dozen, maybe, agencies that have programs in that country. So the point is that the best adoption experiences that I have seen are families that take their time to really, truly know that when they are moving forward in the direction that they have selected it is the best decision that they could make for their family at that time. It's so important to start on a note like that, because adoption is a roller coaster no matter what, and the agency and the people that you have walking you through that process are what's going to make that feel like. A roller coaster that was fun or a roller coaster that you would avoid at all costs for the rest of your life, and we want to make sure that it's closer to the fun one than the one that you're going to avoid forever.

Dawn Davenport  50:12  
Well, on that's the perfect ending note, and that could actually, I would say that applies to both domestic infant foster care and international adoption. Thank you so much. Theresa, Burnie and Steve Valdez for talking with us today about adopting in 2025 I truly appreciate your expertise. Thank you. And before you leave, I have a favor to ask. First, will you please follow or subscribe to the podcast? But second, what we really would like is for you to give us a star rating, and if you're feeling particularly generous, you could give us a written review. We would really appreciate that whatever app you're using to listen to this podcast will have the ability for you to give us a rating and review and to subscribe. So please, please do that, and thank you. Applause.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai