Creating a Family: Talk about Adoption & Foster Care

Do Teens in Foster Care Want to be Adopted? - Weekend Wisdom

• Creating a Family • Season 18 • Episode 96

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Question: I'm interested in adopting an older teenager (16 or 17). An agency worker shared that many older teens don't want to be adopted, and just want to age out of foster care. Is this true, and if so, is adopting an older teen a reasonable goal?

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Please pardon any errors, this is an automated transcript.
Welcome to this week's Week in Wisdom. This is our opportunity to answer your
questions, so do us a favor and send us your questions. You can get them to us by
either emailing through info @creatingafamily .org or there is a link in the show
notes or the app you're using for how to reach us and you can send them to us
that way as well. All right, I'm going to jump right in. This week's question is,
"I'm interested in adopting an older teenager, maybe 16 or 17 years old,
an agency worker shared that many older teens don't want to be adopted and just
want to age out of foster care. Is this true? And if so, is adopting an older
teen a reasonable goal? Well, yes, it is true that many, but certainly not all,
teens are hesitant about adoption. And there are a number of reasons for this. They
may not want to face rejection again. They may have come close to an adoption in
the past and it fell through so they are protecting themselves. Another reason would
be they may hope that they will eventually get back with their biological family.
And even if the adults in their lives don't think this is possible or advisable,
the team may be still holding out hope. They may not have an understanding of what
adoption is or what it means for them. They may not want to lose their identity or
their last last name, they may want to be in control and they fear that adoption
means parents trying to control them. And they may not be ready to become a
permanent member of a new family. And there's just the fear of change. The status
quo more or less is working, so why make a change? And keep in mind that I've
listed all these reasons why teens may not want to be adopted, but there are some
teens that are chomping at the bit for a permanent family. And if not, sometimes
with time and counseling and patience, a teen will come around to the idea. And the
child's case or the youth caseworker should have an idea of where the teen stands
on adoption. And I would hope that they would not place a 16 or a 17 year old
with you that's adamant that they don't want to be adopted. But one question I want
to ask you is whether you would be content to become the child's guardian or
whatever it's called in your state rather than their adoptive.
level of control. Anyway, it's something for you to talk about with your case worker
and to think about because it may be a good option. And before you leave,
I want to remind everyone that creating a family has a great Facebook support group.
It is a closed group, so it is private. And you can also post anonymously. It's
made up of adoptive foster and kinship parents, and we also have first family
represented there and biological family as well as adult adoptees and former foster
youth. So it is a well -rounded group, it's just, it's where I hang out online and
I would strongly recommend that you join us. You can find us at facebook .com
/creatingafamily. I will see you over there and thanks for listening today,
See you next week!