How Can I Get Paid Leave for My Adoption? - Weekend Wisdom

Question: My husband and I are starting the adoption process, and so I recently reached out to Human Resources at my place of employment and learned that I do not qualify for short-term disability (STD), so I am not eligible for any type of paid time off when baby eventually comes. Are there any advocacy groups working on getting something similar to short-term disability for adoptive parents, where at least some portion of their salary is paid during the leave? I mean, there is research out there on the importance of bonding and attachment for the future health of children!

Resources:

• Dave Thomas Foundation's Adoption-Friendly Workplace program
• 5 Ways Leaders Can Support Adoptive Parents (Article)
• Movement Advancement Project - State Family Leave Laws
• Creating a Family Online Support Group

Transcript

Please pardon any errors, this is an automated transcript.
Welcome to Weekend Wisdom by Creating a Family. Creating a Family is a national support and training nonprofit for foster, adoptive, and kinship families.
Now, we have a regular podcast. It's a long -form interview, usually lasting somewhere in the realm of about an hour with leading experts. But Weekend Wisdom is different.
Weekend Wisdom is short, or it's supposed to be short anyway. It depends on how wordy I am, but it's supposed to be short. And it's where we answer your questions. And today, we're going to be answering a question that we received about adoption leave.
Here's the question. She says, my husband and I are starting the adoption process, and so I recently reached out to human resources at my place of employment and learned that I do not qualify for short -term disability,
and I am not eligible for any type of paid time off when the baby eventually comes. I do have the option of using PTO and then qualify for FMLA,
Family and Medical Leave Act, which is up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave. I was absolutely furious and very upset when I learned this. After this conversation, I had a complete breakdown.
I have received lots of information about the importance of bonding and cocooney for months in order to encourage healthy attachment. And here I am being told that I can only take what I have accrued in PTO,
which would be at the most three to four weeks probably. Yes, I can take FMLA, but that is a bit hard to swallow when we are spending a significant amount of our savings on this adoption.
I told my husband, through heavy sobs, that I already feel like a failure of a mother. So my question is, is there any advocacy groups working on getting something similar to short -term disability for adoptive parents,
where at least some portion of salary is paid during the leave? I mean, there is research out there about the importance of bonding and attachment for the future health of children. When I tell people this,
they are as shocked as I am at the lack of support that we probably shouldn't be, since America seems to care so little about supporting working mothers and their children. Sorry for venting so much,
but I am furious and want to take action in a constructive way. Thank you, Dawn, for all your excellent work and wonderful podcast. You have taught me so much. Well, I am truly sorry that you're experiencing this,
and I totally get the shock that you are feeling. I don't specifically know of any advocacy efforts through Congress requiring paid parental leave to apply to adoptive parents.
I personally think it's a long shot to go for the short -term disability route. I think it would likely be more productive to focus on the parental leave route if you're looking to advocate on the federal level.
However, what I think would barely be most effective for you would be to advocate within your own company or organization. And depending on where you are in the adoption process, it might not be too late for you.
I looked up some stats here, according to the Society for Human Resource Management's 2023 Employment Benefits Survey, more than a third of U .S. companies offer paid adoption leave.
There's also information which shows that providing these benefits is good for companies and families. Plus, let's be honest, it's fair. So helping your company see the benefits and the equity of this policy is good for them and for you.
And honestly, I know several people in our online support group, which is a Facebook group, Facebook .com slash group slash creating a famine that have gone to human resources and advocated and got this benefit.
And they did it by arguing that it's discriminatory and unfair not to offer the same benefit that it's to adoptive parents. And the problem is, of course, they point out that they can't rely on short -term disability.
A great resource for you is the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. They have done a lot of work in this area of paid adoption leave. If you go to their website, you would find it under their adoption -friendly workplace program.
Their website is davethomasfoundation .org. I think it's just a terrific place to go. And they give you lots of resources and lots of data that you can share with your company.
And I'd start if your company is large enough to have a human resources section, which yours is, I would start there. There is also an article in the Harvard Business Review that you can look at and share and it's titled Five Ways Leaders Can Support Adoptive Parents.
And again, it's in the Harvard Business Review. And you can just type Harvard Business Review and five ways leaders can support adoptive parents. If you LGBT map .org site.
Look up just state -by -state list of family leave laws. I hope this has given you lots of ammunition to use, and I wish you the absolute best of luck.
And you also, I hope, realize that you are far from failing your child. If this doesn't work out, there are ways around it. I totally get that feeling of, oh my God, and the first thing I'm supposed to do is be with my child and I'm not able to do.
and you can listen on whichever of the apps you listen to podcast on. Before you leave, I want you to know that we have free courses. Thank you, Jockey Bing Family Foundation.
We have 12 free courses covering all sorts of things. And even if you don't need a certificate that shows you took the course, you could still take it and learn how to be a better parent. You can find them at Bitley slash JBF support.
That's bit .l .ly slash.