Engaging Churches in the Foster Care Crisis

How can churches support kids in foster care and prevent children from entering foster care? Join us for our discussion with Jedd Medefind, President of the Christian Alliance for Orphans (CAFO) and Amber Knowles, the Executive Director of The Riverside Project (formerly Fostering Family).

In this episode, we cover:

• We call it a foster care “crisis”. What does that term mean? What are the needs of foster children?
• What is each organization doing to help engage churches in caring for foster kids?
• What are ways people of faith can help improve the world of fostering if they know that they aren’t able to actually get licensed to foster?
• How can churches provide support for people once they are parenting kids from foster care—either through fostering or adoption?
• How can churches work to support birth families to help once the child has been reunified or to help stabilize them so that children don’t end up in care?
• How can faith communities get involved with supporting foster families and foster kids?
• The Jockey Being Family® Back to School Bash events will take place during the weekend of August 5-7th, 2022. These gatherings are geared towards foster and adoptive families with children 5-14 years of age. This is a chance to celebrate, educate, and empower families with a fun-filled and informative event as they prepare to head back to school for the upcoming year. Jockey Being Family® Foundation will provide grants for up to $3,000 to eligible organizations to help bring a Back to School Bash to your community. Together, we can be a much-needed support network for foster and adoptive families across the country. Email JBFBSB@jockey.com for additional information. 
• More Than Enough
• Fostering Family  and the Riverside Project
  • Video: Riverside Project 

This podcast is produced  by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:

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Transcript

Please pardon the errors, this is an automatic transcription.
0:00  
Welcome everyone to Creating a Family talk about adoption and foster care. I'm Dawn Davenport. I am both the host of the show as well as the director of the nonprofit creating a family.org. You can pop over to that website and get lots of information to help you with your fostering or adoption journey. Today we're going to be talking about how to engage churches in the foster care crisis. We will be talking with JeddMedefind. He is the president of the Christian Alliance for Orphans. And through the Christian Alliance for Orphans more than 190 faith based organizations, and a national network work together to inspire and equip people of faith to effectively serve vulnerable children and families. Prior to this role, Jedd led the White House Office of faith based and community initiatives under President George W. Bush. He has written many articles and four books most recently becoming home. We'll also be talking with Amber Knowles. She is the Executive Director of Fostering Family. It is a Houston based nonprofit that strengthens in the foster care community through training and collaboration. She's the mother of four, including two adopted through foster care. She is a trust based relational intervention practitioner TBRI®. And she co chairs a provider workgroup with the Coalition of Child Serving Sectors, which is a collaborative project within Harris County's child welfare system, spearheaded by the Texas alliance for Child and Family Services. Welcome, Jedd and Amber to Creating a Family. I am looking forward to this talk. Thank you, Dawn,

1:36  
thanks for having us.

1:38  
You know, we call it a foster care crisis. And we use that term so often, I think, in the field, that it almost is meaningless in a way. So let's add some meaning to it. Jed, what are the what do we mean by that term? And what are the needs of foster care? The foster care system, but really the children in the foster care system?

2:00  
Yeah, well, you know, sometimes people gravitate towards the numbers to explain that, right. And we talk about more than 400,000 children on any given day in the US foster system, which means they've been removed from their family of origin due to the concerns of social workers in the courts, that they are in serious danger, either through serious neglect or abuse. And, you know, so those are, those are some of the high level statistics. But of course, what helps us to feel the gravity of it is just thinking about the reality of each individual child, you know, a precious little boy, a little girl who has been brought in this world and who just like the rest of us needs love, and nurture, and protection and care and belonging. And for whatever reason, those at least part of those, those needed things are missing from their life. And so, you know, you could speak of the crisis at the macro level, but really every single story is a crisis in itself.

2:52  
Yeah, very much. So. Amber, what are some of the needs that you see as being a either a foster parent, or in your work with fostering family that you see other in the universe of foster families? What are some of the needs that they experience? And you could start with saying, Oh, let me count the way. Yes, exactly as thinking how in the world am I gonna feel that was all my mom was? Yeah, yeah. Well, that was almost unfair, because there are, okay, let

3:22  
me okay, let me put it. There's a great question, though. It really is.

3:24  
When your kids are little, they say, tell me your favorite. I can favorite color, favorite food, I'd always say, I can't do that. But I'll tell you one of my favorites. Okay, let me rephrase this, tell me some of the needs or one need, and then I'll turn it over to Jed to fill in a few others.

3:38  
Sure, of course, we all know that there's the need for as Jen mentioned, enough foster families, particularly those who are able to care for kids who have bigger needs. Kids are older kids who are in sibling groups. You know, we see that in the news all the time. One of the things that I think we often sometimes don't realize is just the need for those families to have support around them. A lot of the work that we do is centered around helping the church, helping the community to step into the world of a foster or even a kinship home, to be able to build a support system around them. Because as we all know, when it gets really hard, we tend to isolate away from community. And really what we need most is community. And so really everything that the community can give to a family in terms of tangible needs support prayer, just being a friend and helping to be a support system as they walk through just really hard times. It all kind of boils down to that I think.

4:31  
Yeah, good point. Jed. Anything you'd add to that as far as as needs for foster families and foster children or the families who are raising them?

4:42  
Yeah, I thought Amber expressed it well, but it is. It is the truth that you know, when you step into the foster system as a family willing to foster willing to adopt and getting involved in other ways to frankly, you know, if you have it on your heart and your desire to support birth families, and helping the reunification anytime you step into that realm, you're stepping into the world at its most broken, and just about everything that is around you is going to feel in some ways bent or twisted, including the system itself, you know, the system itself is not perfect. And sometimes that produces some of the biggest challenges of all, you know, there's so many wonderful social workers and judges and dedicated people involved, but just you're you're in a system that itself is dealing with the brokenness of the world. And so you're going to share in that hurt and that brokenness. And so having others in the journey with you just means so much. You know, I think of one particular story of just from my own journey, where my wife and I, we replaced with a little preemie baby with, you know, pretty much no notice at all, just hey, can you take a little one this afternoon, and, and so in our youngest child at the time was four years old. So we didn't have any of the baby stuff, and the onesies and the you know, all that. But that very afternoon, people from our church began showing up. And they brought some of those diapers we needed, and the miniature onesies in a car seat and baby formula, and many other things and meals. And those meals continued actually, for weeks and weeks, and even months actually. And, and it was, it was the twin help of on the one hand, just very practical things, we needed this. And it helped so much to not have to go scrambling all over town to try to get these things. So it was practically helpful. Even more, though, was the feeling, hey, we're not in this alone, there's a whole community doing this together.

6:30  
And that feeling of not being alone is so important. It's so important. Because oftentimes, other families, even our church families, don't understand what life is like with kids who've experienced trauma. And that's not to say that these kids are basket cases or have tons of issues. That's not necessarily the case. But these kids have had their lives, at the very least turned upside down and behave and are stressed as a result of this. And I think that sometimes other families don't understand. So when our church families, or our communities in any way step forward, we feel at least seen and that's a and if nothing else, that helps. Certainly, well, let's start by finding out what each of your organizations individually are doing to help engage churches in caring for foster kids. Jen, I'll start with you. Yeah,

7:26  
so you know, I'm very excited about something called more than enough, more than enough is really you could describe it as a national campaign, working as the as the phrase says, To see more than enough loving homes for every child in foster care. And in that we're talking about adoptive families and foster families and restored biological families. And critically, church base support for all three of those, because as we were just talking about all three of those types of families needs that wraparound support. And so you know, in many ways, the strategy for that is really a county by county strategy, there are actually 3142 counties or county equivalents in the United States. And the goal is to have a local network of churches and organizations and agencies working together in every county in the country to engage this need to gather. And so that's that's something that you know, Cato is not, we don't own that we're just kind of the behind the scenes team that is helping coordinate the remarkable gifts that are out there. So many wonderful organizations, leaders, great models that have proven very effective in different parts of the world. And our simple hope is that we can expand the best of that into every county in the country, and ultimately reach that goal of that there will there will always be need in the foster system, there will always be some young people entering into it, we can get to the place where there are more waiting homes, more people ready to receive, then there are kids who need those.

8:56  
We'll include a link to that in the show notes. Let me get a little more information about more than enough. In this case, is it a partnership between the faith community and the local county child welfare agencies? Is that is that the partnership?

9:14  
Yes, in every county, that's what it looks like, you know, there, there's the the faith community coming together around a shared vision with shared language shared measurables you know, each part of that community playing its own unique role. You know, local churches are in many ways where I believe and I know Amber works on this every day that this is where this dynamic community can be vibrantly lived out it's, it's, you know, maybe there's just a handful, maybe two or three families that have fostered or you know, have adopted and but there's a community wrapping around them like we were just talking about. And then it's been it's not just one church doing that in isolation. There's a whole network of churches that are engaging this together along with agencies, you know, that have social work professionals and others and and that forms, in essence, the more than enough community of that county. And together, that that local network engages the child welfare system, because the government, of course, has a vital role to play to right. They're the ones discerning, you know, can we return the child home is that not safe? Right now the judges are making decisions. There's a critical role for government in that, but we believe that the church and that that broader church community has a vital complementary role to play as well.

10:27  
So the way it's structured is that the churches come together under the, the umbrella of more than enough and they reach out to the county agencies.

10:37  
That's right. And they don't need to use that even the brand more than enough, it's really just more than enough is a vision. And in different parts of the country, it takes different names and Arkansas, it's called the call in Oklahoma, it's 111, you can find that same vision under different banners. But more than enough, what we're doing is behind the scenes, helping those local networks with everything they need to really, you know, thrive including help with their communications and marketing plan help with their fundraising planning, you know, data and technology. That's, that's the part that more than enough plays.

11:11  
Okay. We'll circle back to that. When we talk about further down, specific things that churches can do. All right, Amber, how about what your work with? Well, both fostering family and any of the other organizations that you've worked with.

11:26  
So within fostering family, we created an initiative about a year and a half ago, that fits really in line with what Chad was talking about. We of course, we partner with K fo in the morning, more than enough team. And so the Riverside project is actually an initiative specifically doing that type of work on the ground. So we work to bring churches together agencies together, we actually work with many of the school districts to bring them all to the table as a collective that are serving their vulnerable neighbors, specifically in their part of the city. Because Houston is so huge, and Harris County is so large and complex, we actually broke the county down into 12 geographic areas, and we use a lot of data to show what is the need in this particular community. So for instance, in Kingwood, humble in the northeast part of Houston, we know Hey, this is the number of foster families in this area that really needs support. This is the number of kinship families this is how many kids are being removed from their homes. And so we can really tailor the effort of that community to the need that exists there. And then we can really equip them and bring them to the table together to share ideas and work on complex problems together. And so we get to see each individual community being served by those those stakeholders there.

12:38  
Do it in specific in the Riverside project? Do you reach out to churches? Or do churches reach out to you or both?

12:46  
Both? Yeah, originally, when we first started, it was more so going to churches and saying, Hey, we want to help equip you and mobilize you to the need in your community. And of course, over time as momentum builds and things like that, more of them have started learning more about it and just saying, hey, we want to serve give us a place because really, that's what we what we hear from church leaders all over the city is hey, I know that there's 4000 kids in foster care or that this is a big need. I see this on the news. I just have no idea what to do. And we can say we can give you something to do here's a way a real need in your own neighborhood. And this is an easy way to pair what the assets are of your church that you can steward to meet that need. And that just gives them and then here's other stakeholders that you can do it arm an arm, so you're not doing it alone.

13:31  
I think so often, you're right that churches don't know where to begin. And they may have a heart for the mission and the ministry but but and oftentimes if they don't know where to begin, they're not effective at actually meeting the need. Even though their their part is they're there because this is not an area that they're that that is their expertise. We have been longtime partners with the jockey being Family Foundation, they are a terrific organization and through their support, we can provide you with 12 free online courses in our creating a family.org online parenting center. We have courses that will cover fostering parenting or kinship, they come complete with a certificate of completion so you can utilize them for your foster CEE credit if you needed or perhaps for your pre adoption training depending on what your agency requires. So an example of one of the courses is maintaining your relationships that split friendships and partnerships and marriage when adopting or fostering, so check it out at Bitly slash j, b f support, that's bi T dot L, Y, slash j, b, f support. Alright, so we've talked about what each of your organizations are doing. So this is a more kind of general question as well. So what are the ways that people have faith? What are the things that we can do to help improve fostering? And and I say this I mean, one thing is obviously becoming a foster parent. So maybe we should start there. What can churches do to encourage people to get licensed to become a foster parent? That's, that's, that's the most basic need at the most basic level. So what are some things and I'll start with you, Amber that churches can do to help families become licensed?

15:27  
Yeah, I think it kind of starts just by talking about it, sharing stories of and know Jason Johnson talks a lot about making it normal, it making it something that we can learn more about that it just becomes kind of a regular thing that we talked about, not just fostering, but supporting foster care and learning more about it. Because really, we can't step into something we don't really know anything about. Some people might do that. But it's probably not wise to do it that way. But just educating ourselves as churches and as faith communities to okay, what is the actual need out there? How can we step into it? And what are the next steps? If somebody says, hey, I want to foster How can you be a loving community that says, Hey, I know an organization that can help connect you to an agency and help you walk through those next steps. I think a lot of it is just journeying through the people in your church, they have questions about it. And they often don't, aren't necessarily ready to just take that step. But being able to have the conversation and connect them to people who have gone through that road or down that road before can really be helpful, and then connecting them to the people that can help them take

16:30  
the next step to churches, though, I mean, if I were thinking of fostering I don't know that I would think to approach my church about what to do unless, of course, I knew that there was a foster family or if I knew that my church knew something about that. So how can churches become a place that families would think to turn to when they're first beginning to have entered 100? Churches normalize the process? As Jason Johnson says, Jed? Yeah, well, you

16:58  
know, of course, it can be both formal and informal, formally, you know, it can be shared from the pulpit or the you know, the pastor can give a three minute opportunity for someone you know, like an amber or me to share, you know, just about the needs and opportunity, then have a lunch after the service to share more, that's a pretty common thing, you know, where those who are interested in learning a bit more can can do that. We actually did that at our church just a few weeks ago. And, you know, lots of folks from different places in life, some, some were thinking about adopting, some had been thinking about fostering, and this, this was like, Oh, this is the moment to learn more. Others were saying, Hey, I don't think we're in a place of life to do that. But we want to help the families that are doing that. So they were signing up to be the folks who would bring the meals and the baby formula and come and, you know, help and mow the lawn or be surrogate grandparents for the families that would be doing that. And so, you know, and then what, what I think often happens when you have that, that little more structured element, the informal part kicks in. And you know, there's, it's the relational reality of people walking with people through that journey,

18:01  
when and if you have the formal part, even though you say formal, but it can be pretty relaxed and a formal, it doesn't have to be a formal foster care ministry. I think that's the point I want to make, that I find can be a hindrance, because churches, like Oh, organizations, they're busy, and they've got a lot of wonderful ministries. And sometimes it's like, we don't have the bandwidth for one more ministry. And so they all they might not say it quite so bluntly. But that's in essence, what they mean. So some of the some of the things you said, it's one step short of a foster a couple of steps shy of a full blown ministry, but just giving the space for somebody to come and have a three minute ministry minute are, are like I said, a gathering a lunch gathering after church. So that is, that would be certainly. And then what once you do that, then that allows, it seems to me that allows the informal to start happening.

19:00  
Yeah, you know, and I would, I would affirm what you're saying, done that it does not need to be a big structured, formal, you know, program. Now, there may be times when that happens. And there's some wonderful churches that have very well developed structural programs, but but it doesn't need to start there. Right. And that that picture doesn't need to be in front of our mind keeping us from taking the little steps that we can take. And you know, and even, you know, of course, you always hope that your pastor is going to see the vision and getting excited about it may not be the case. But that need not prevent you from starting just a small organic relational effort. You know, we we have some we have at our church we've received some wonderful support from from church leadership. But in some ways, some of the most important thing that was happening was we call it pizza in prayer. Once a quarter after church, there's a pizza and prayer. It's just a gathering people can come and many of them are families that are fostering adopting, but others just want to wrap around them. We have pizza together, we pray together and it formed some of those relational threads then carry forward into the support and other elements. And that's something that you know, as long as the church is at least willing to give you a room after church, you know, that any any church could do.

20:10  
Yeah, absolutely. And this leads into the next question for me, obviously, on the most, most basic level what we need as more families. Right. So that is, that's great. And that would, that's a wonderful goal to have. But as you said, Jared, and I think Amber, you as well, not every family is, is in the place are cut out for or whatever. And that's not an option for every family. So what are some things that can be done? If you're you don't want to be a foster parent, but you want to jump in and help? Amber? What are some things that families who are in that boat? What can they do? Yeah, that's

20:48  
a great question. And I think it's something that a lot of people really want to know, because not every family is ready or in a place in life where they're able to take a child into their home. But there are so many things that you can do, as we already mentioned, just supporting families just by coming alongside them. But at the same time, you know, there are lots and lots of kids who are leaving, at least in Houston that are living in group homes, situations that really need loving, stable adults to help them walk into adulthood, successfully. And often that doesn't happen. And so there's a huge, huge need, at least in Houston, I think all over the country, for just really loving people who can come alongside kids in foster care, particularly teenagers to help them learn skills, to connect with somebody to learn how to move, like I said, into adulthood. That's a big one. Of course, biological families, if we're going kind of further upstream, we want to see families restored, you know, we don't want adoption, only to be the way forward with foster care, we want to see biological families Redeemed and Restored. And that that happens often again, through relationship, you see this thread of relationship relationship relationship, as this whole thing hinges on relationships, and people can do relationship, especially the church. And so being able to step in where there are gaps and needs to just have someone come alongside and help you restore what's been broken.

22:09  
In my church, one of the most amazing things that I have seen is exactly a situation like that a family that was struggling. And I don't know if they would have ended up in foster care, but they were definitely struggling in just a number of, of church members. And this is this has not been short term, this has probably been Tin Tin at least 10 years, just supporting, you know, not just in so many different ways. You know, picking the kids up from school or bringing them to events are showing up at school for things and helping the parents and the moms. So it's just so many ways that you can do that. I would agree. If you have been listening to this podcast for a while, or using any of the other resources that we created creating a family and you have ever thought, Gosh, I'd like to give back or I'd like to help them in some way. Well, good news, there is something you can do for us. And it's actually relatively easy, and it's really helpful. And that is tell your friends about this podcast. People find out about podcast mainly through other people. So if you know other people who are involved in the adoption, foster or kinship world, please do us a favor and let them know about this podcast, it helps us and we hope it will help them. So thanks. One thing that Amber I believe your group did that I thought was such a good idea. There's such a need for Well, I'm gonna say respite providers, but that as a defined term that is a defined term and, and again, that what oftentimes families really need is a babysitter. You know, they're fostering, what they really need is a date night, they really need to get out of the house, get away from the kids. And sometimes they have people within their own family who can do that, or they have, you know, standard babysitters. But that's both not that's, that's not inexpensive. And also sometimes it's not approved, depending on what your how strict your your county is. And you guys had a way of and it helps. And sometimes it's required, if it's over a certain number of hours, that you have a certain amount of background checks and stuff like that. Tell us about the program you did, because I thought it was such an innovative, such a practical way to help. Yeah, one of

24:26  
the things that our organization really focuses on is creating innovative solutions within the child welfare system, especially collaborative solutions, where organizations can come together and find ways to kind of bring their assets to the table and create ways to streamline and more effective ways of doing things. And again, we live in a very large community. We have like 35 Child placing agencies, I think, in Houston and what we saw early on was that many of them had a different process for getting babysitters certified, so we were seeing that not many families were getting help People didn't really know the process to get their friends and families certified as babysitters. And so they just didn't. They were using other foster families. When we went through the foster care licensing process, we would sit next to other families. And they'd say, you know, get to know the other people around you, because those are going to be your babysitters. And I was like, Why in the world? Would they do that? That's not, that's not efficient. You know, we only live by some of these people. But that's just the tire trying to care for the tired. Why would we do it that way. And so we actually brought during that time, we brought some friends and family that we were a part of the church, really small church community and said, Hey, can you just come to our house, we'll bring a CPR instructor will get all the paperwork, if you can just step in with us, we'll deal with everything else. So that kind of became the foundation of what became the babysitting collaborative. Once we launched the organization, we have now 25, child placing agencies who all work together, they're all a part of this collaborative. And we have a streamlined process that we use a portal documentation portal to do it. And so really, Now friends, foster families can shoot families who are licensed, they can just send their friends and family a link, and we take it from there. And we do the whole training process through a portal. And then we take one PDF, and we send it over to the agency to process. And it just makes it so much more simple for the family. Because before it's like, they're, they have to go find driver's licenses and social security while they're doing all the other things. And it just never gets done. And it seems like such a small thing. But when that doesn't get done, families really, they start to burn out really quickly. And they get really tired in their community just can't do something so simple as giving them a date night. And so we try to remove as much of that barrier as possible so that they can get the support that they need.

26:41  
I thought that was such a what ever since I've heard about after you and I spoke by I've told so many people about that because it is such a practical and yet fundamental way that churches or really any group could support. Jed anything else like that, that you have seen that practical ways that churches who don't, or families who are our churches, who are not necessarily going to do a full blown ministry, or families who are not going to become foster parents, things that you've seen done, that are on the practical level within the within the abilities of a church to do and be helpful. Yeah,

27:24  
yeah, well, um, first of all, I just love, love what you're doing there, Amber, I think it's really do. You know, I mean, Don, what we often say a capo is not everyone is called to foster adopt, but everyone can play a part in foster care and adoption. And so really, the sky's the limit. I mean, I know a lawyer in Seattle, who provides legal services to help families that are, you know, considering adopting from foster care or, or, you know, other aspects of the foster maybe legal aspects that they're going through. There's an orthodontist in Colorado who has something called ortho 127. And he provides free orthodontic service to families, you know, that are fostering adopting. And of course, I think when we adopted one of our daughters, there was a woman in the church and retired woman, and she learned named Lorraine, she said to my wife, hey, I want to help you with the grocery shopping. So every week, this was, you know, before you could get your groceries delivered, but you know, she just said every week, give me the list, and I'll go, I'll go pick them up for you. You know, and, and it was just invaluable. We love Lorraine, she's part of the family, you know, because of that, like, it was just wonderful. And so basically, you know, it's, it's the, you could just call it the golden rule, like, whatever would be helpful to you, if you were in those shoes, you know, if you were there maybe a little overwhelmed with a child or several children, what what's going to be helpful, maybe it's yard work, maybe it's babysitting, maybe it's running errands, maybe it's transporting a child to and from appointments. And, you know, I would note for some of those things, you do need special authorization where you would need to, you know, maybe go through a process, get a background check. However, there is a national standard, what's considered prudent and reasonable parenting, you know, if a normal parent would allow, like, their own, you know, parents to pick up their kids from school that's allowed in foster care, you don't you don't have to have a special necessarily jumped through a special hoop for that. So, you know, yes, if a child is gonna be spending the night at your house, or or if you're currently not known, well, to that family, yes, you'll need to go through a background check, probably in some certain, you know, training, but for other things, you know, you can just help out just like you'd help your neighbor and

29:37  
reasonable prudent standards is it's interpreted differently, but generally, there's a certain hour requirements. So you're right for a date night. I think most places you wouldn't have that. One idea that that I've seen churches do is have get together so that people who were in the church who would be willing to babysit for a weekend or for a As for what's past what which you could ask or quite frankly, just even in that period of time but not charged, you know it for people who don't have parents who are grandparents around. So they would but but with a reasonable least how it's sometimes interpreted. The reasonable prudent standard means that parents standard means that you have to have an existing relationship with the person coming in. So I've seen groups, churches, bring in family, so they get to know each other, so that it meets the requirements of so they say to the church, the church family, or can be an organization as well, but we're talking churches here, if you'd be willing to babysit for a foster family, you know, please come to this gathering. And they haven't part of the gathering can be education about some of the needs and the behaviors, you might see how trauma can affect kids. But it can also just be a get together, like your pizza and prayer, I like that. Anyway, you could just get people together. And then as a relationship will be established. And again, depending on how your county or your agency interprets that standard, but that may well meet the the Yes, it is a reasonable and prudent, you have enough of a relationship. And then that person can step in and babysit for a weekend or even just a night. Yeah, so I've seen that done. Yes,

31:17  
yes. You know, another thing that happens here, in Northern Virginia, where we live now is, there are a number of churches that will do Parents Night night out, you know, so at the church, so it's not a babysitter come to the house, it's the parents dropping the kids off for three hours for a nice date night out. And you know, churches have the infrastructure, they have the space, they also have check in systems that are, you know, honed for Sunday mornings, but they work just as well for Wednesday night. And you know, they have qualified volunteers who have, you know, in most cases, gone through background checks, and so the infrastructure is there. And then you just build a little program around a night out where the parents get to go, and you know, have dinner or watch a movie or whatever, and the kids are all there playing and you do a little VBS or something like that.

31:58  
Right one. And that's, and that's doable. You know, a group of people in the church can do a, yeah, we can we can handle 15 kids for an evening, we can do that three hours, we can do it, we can rally. So so yeah. And the point you made, I thought was really good as churches. This seems mundane. But but but churches are already set up to do background checks. And did anybody in the church who's working with kids likely already has one. So it's just not a big deal. And it's not a big expense for them to get the background checks, because that often is required for anybody who's going to be doing this with the kids. So yeah, really good. I wanted to circle back to something that Amber brought up earlier, and that is supporting birth families. And we said it beautifully. Our our goal really is the goal of foster care should be at its best to heal families and put children back with their families. And so I shared a story that's meant a lot to me about watching my church communities around one particular family. What are some ways that and I'll start with you, Amber, what are some ways that churches can support birth families, and this is, and I want to, if there's a family within your church, that is one thing. And in the example that I had, it was a family on the periphery, but still vaguely connected. So there was already that connection. And that seems to maybe to be obvious at that point. You circle that that family with love and support and walk start walking with him. But what about very often I think these families are not a part of our church community. So what can we do them?

33:37  
Well, this is actually something we've been doing a lot of in Harris County, just here recently, we have a partnership with the Department of Family and Protective Services in our local leadership. And so we actually prioritize biological and kinship families. And if they have a need, say, even if it's just a tangible need, hey, this is a grandmother who is now ticking in for for grandkids, and they need beds and bedding just

33:59  
weekend beds, beds,

34:01  
yes, biological families who, hey, they're trying to get on their feet, because we train all of our partner churches and organizations that we work with that, you know, the Riverside project is really based on that idea of the river, right that you see kids in the water rushing down the rapids sort of waterfall, you jump in, you try to pull them out, and you try to stabilize them on the side, you go downstream trying to catch the ones that are before they go over that waterfall. But then a big part of that is we have to go upstream and understand why are these kids in the river in the first place? We have to put a stop to that so that kids don't enter foster care at all. And when we talk about going upstream, what we often don't see are really stable families that are on the side of the river just throwing their kids in. That's just not what we see. What we actually see when we go upstream are sometimes entire families or generations of families who have only known life in the river who are trying to keep their heads above the water while also trying to keep their kids heads above the water. It's often not sustainable. They need someone to help carry their children and carry them and help to stabilize them on the side, not to fix it all for them not to be a savior to them. But to come alongside and to say, Hey, how can I help you here? What is the need that you have, and try to, again, build a relationship with the family. And so in Harris County, a lot of that looks like really just being introduced, what is the need, there's a huge shift in Harris County right now, removals are down tremendously. They're not removing kids, the way that they were, which again, is a good thing. As long as families are safe and stable, then we want to be able to bring the church around those families to ensure that they are safe, that they are stable, just by meeting their needs. Often, it's the tangible need that comes to the surface first. And then we talk to the caseworker and say, Hey, I know that this family really needs some help with a bed or they really need help with groceries or utility bill. What else? What else is underneath that? Do they need a connection to a counseling center? Do they need some job readiness skills? Do they need financial literacy classes? And that helps us again, because we've kind of broke Harris County down into the area, different areas, wherever they are in the community, then we have this collaborative already there, of nonprofits in the school in the churches, who can step in and say, Hey, we want to really holistically stabilize you. I come from a medical background. And so a lot of what the way that we work is very holistically that the tangible need is not going to stabilize a family but an entire community around them can. And so that's kind of what we're after. It's really that introduction to the need and then seeing the family where they are and being a relational support to them to help them come to the side of the river and truly stabilize on

36:36  
the side. Hopscotch adoptions has been a longtime supporter of both this podcast as well as creating family in general. Hopscotch adoptions is a hay accredited international adoption agency, placing children from Armenia, Bulgaria, Croatia, Georgia, gota, Guiana, Morocco, Pakistan and Serbia. They specialize in the placement of children with Down Syndrome and other special needs. In addition to kinship adoptions, they place kids throughout the US, and they offer home study services and post adoption services to residents of North Carolina and New York. Have a couple of practical questions there. How are how is your group notified of a family that is at risk for faltering the kids ending up in the in the river? To further your analogy?

37:29  
Yeah, we have a page form on our website that caseworkers, we do a small training for them. And then they submit a need on our website. And we have social workers on staff who kind of triage that need. And they talked to the caseworker to try and understand where's the family located? What are their needs, you know, what additional needs may they have be having that aren't necessarily listed. And then we go to the partners that are in their area to find out who's who can be the best person to meet that need.

37:55  
And you partner with nonprofits, with churches with schools, your your umbrella is very large.

38:02  
It's growing every day it started small, but it's it's starting to grow pretty quickly, just as we've needed to find more resources to serve families. You know, it's been a lot of word of mouth. And then people start coming out of the woodwork saying, Hey, I know this nonprofit that does this in this area. And I know of this nonprofit, it's really kind of bringing all the resources together to say, Okay, here's the need of this family, and where's the asset that can meet that need. And we bring the church into the middle of that to really lead out just because we know that church is the vehicle for redemption in our city. So how do we help them lead out in that, while bringing those resources to the table?

38:40  
Jed what is COVID? What are you seeing what is CAFOs seeing as far as different efforts to support families before they their children in order to prevent their children from being removed?

38:55  
Yeah, there are some wonderful efforts all over the country that are that are stepping in that space. And very often, of course, it's people who began by being involved with foster care, whether through adoption, fostering mentoring, things like that. And then they they're recognizing, hey, in some of these cases, we might have been able to prevent this child from coming into foster care in the first place. And so they're they're stepping into that. And of course, not everyone needs to do that. There's different callings for different people, right. So some people are focused on that preventative facet, and that is wonderful. And then of course, there's always going to be need, in some cases for the protection of children who are in a place of danger. And so a need for the temporary care of foster care, or in some cases, the permanent care of adoption, right. So there's a place for all of those, but it is beautiful to see that a lot of folks stepping into that, you know, what we sometimes refer to as prevention work or family strengthening. And and, you know, one of the key facets to that, Don is people are recognizing, you know, what is driving the removal of children, you know what is causing the court Once the social workers to say this is not a safe situation for this child and, and very often poverty is a key part of that. But we would I think we would be mistaken if we imagined poverty solely to be a lack of material resources. Often we think of poverty that well, it just you don't have enough money, right. But actually, real poverty, that the kind that causes a child to end up in the foster system is is much more complex than that it's not not simply a matter of, you know, handing out some money, it is a often a constellation, kind of a tangle of multiple things that, you know, often include substance abuse, it may include mental illness may include almost certainly includes family breakdown, at various levels, divorce or other other things. And so, you know, the solution, it very often needs to be in fact, I would say, pretty much always needs to be relational, there may be material things needed, there may be some some services programs like a substance abuse, rehab, those things may be critical as well. However, the relation or aspect of it, and that's something government doesn't do very well. The relational aspect is often the most important aspect of it always more.

41:05  
And one of the challenges there is that relational is long term, you know, it's, it's not easy, necessarily just drop in and give it somebody a bed, or drop in and take the kids for the for a night or doing something. That's, it's not that that's not important, nor is it easy. But the relational aspect that you're describing, that's walking the walk for a while, because these families didn't get into trouble. You know, in a month, they didn't get in trouble in a year, sometimes these these issues are generational. So is that has that been start with you, Amber, though, the long term nature of this, how do you deal with that, in your organization as the work you're doing reaching out to prevent kids from even entering foster care? And then jet? I'm going to turn around to you to find out about the, it seems to me that's the challenge is that somebody's much more willing to do it short term and long term. So go ahead.

42:05  
No, that's a, that's always going to be a challenge, right? We live in a world where, you know, we want quick fixes, we want to be able to just solve the puzzle and be done with it. And unfortunately, that's just not how people work. It's not how brokenness works. And we see this, this cycle of brokenness happening in our communities. And it does require long term, low key relational types of intervention. And that is, that's a hard thing. I think, going back to what we were talking about about before, and how we bring the church into it, you know, we have to be kind of discipling our people to move to be able to move towards the broken and not away, it's not something that, you know, you can just do a campaign for and expect people to get that. It's sometimes modeling it and helping people understand, you know, Jesus did this for us, he came to us and our brokenness, and so we do the same to others, rather than trying to check the box. And, you know, by the thing, we can do this, I think a big part of it is helping them to know that we're not doing this alone, that we don't expect one person to solve all of this, but we can do it. There's not one organization, we say that all the time, we as an organization are not going to solve foster care in our community. We can't there were not enough. However, us with all of these different churches, and all of these different people in all of these different organizations saying, you can't do it by yourself. I can't do it by myself. But we could maybe make a dent in this if we do it together. So how do we do that? Let's look at the issues and bring our resources to the table and our start working on this. So I think I mean, there's not probably one perfect answer to that question. But I think it does center around discipling our people towards why we can do hard things. And why we can do the messy thing of walking with someone who's really in in the water. We say all the time, we don't fish people out of the river. And it's not going to happen that way. It's going to require getting down into the water, which is uncomfortable and cold. And but it's worth it for the sake of seeing our community change and helping to restore families. It's something

44:08  
you said that I think is important, you were speaking on the organizational level, but not one organization. But if you all join together and your no organization is alone, I think the same thing can apply. Even on the individual level. If a family a person thought I see this family in need, but they need so much. I don't have the ability to give them all that. And I could just be I could. I can't walk forever with them and they need somebody who's going to be walking along time. That can feel overwhelming. But if there were a group of people who are coming together just like your groups of organizations, then it's not so overwhelming. No, I can't do it all but you know what, I can help them grocery shop or I can teach them cooking or I could do you know, and I could do that for a while. You know, I can't do it all But and I wouldn't number free to get in if I'm gonna have to be the one doing it all. So I think the same could apply. Okay, Jed, from your standpoint, what have you seen as well from the longitudinal aspect of, of what it takes to work with families who are really struggling? Yeah,

45:18  
I mean that there's a lot of layers to that, of course, is, you know, Don, but I would, I would put a little accent on something that Amber mentioned, which is that this is for the Christian, this is rooted in a deep vision for what we refer to as discipleship, that lifelong process of growing to be more like Jesus, and the lifelong process of coming to know the heart of God more deeply. And while again, I think people have certainly outside of outside of Christian churches, and the faith can certainly provide wonderful support and love for families. But I would say that the Christian who really knows his or her faith is uniquely equipped for that, because, you know, the core of the Christian story is the idea that God Himself shed all of his power and privilege and comfort and control and entered into, you know, a manger and into the broken places of the world and shared in the hurt of, of humanity. And so that, that that is our central story, that is the core reality. And so, you know, as Christians, we're called into that story as well to shed aspects of our position and privilege and comfort and control and enter into spaces that are very difficult and painful. And so when you're equipped with that vision, and, and other facets, you know, there will be a lot to unpack there. But you know, including the idea that, hey, we are all sinners saved by grace in the Christian story. And so, you know, we don't view the biological father who was abusive, as unredeemable, we say, hey, you know, and actually, the same kinds of things reside in every human heart, including my own. And so I see in that man, someone who, with with love and support can come first to know His Heavenly Father, and then can walk as part of a community into a place of much greater health. And that's, and that's our deepest yearning and prayer for them. And so, you know, while there are certainly many very practical aspects to it, that sprang out of that and need to be talked about and with intentionality and planning, I believe it really is the wellspring of all of that is this beautiful truth at the heart of

47:20  
Christianity. I want to if you will, both of you if you will send me links. I can find more than enough and I can find foster family as well. If there's a specific link you want me to include in the show notes, Samper for the Riverside project, let me know. And the same with you, Jed. Let me share one, we partner with jockey Bing family on a number of different things. And they are doing we're not partnering with him on this, but this is there's something that they're doing. They're having, they're supporting what they call back to school bashes, and they're particularly partnering with churches, I think they will also partner with other organizations. But their focus, I believe, is really looking towards supporting churches in this. And the event is going to take place the weekend or the events because it's going to be done in individual orders and communities. The weekend of August 5 through seventh of this year, it's August 5 through seventh. And it's geared towards foster and adoptive families with kids between the ages of five to 14. They're going to bring everybody together to celebrate educate and empower. It's going to be fun, it's going to be educational. They're providing grants of up to $3,000 to help bring the Back to School Bash to the community. And the idea is of course to provide create a network of support for foster and adoptive families. And to get more information. You can go to this website, which is JB F BSB. That stands for it's all the initials but it stands for jockey being family Back to School Bash. So JBF bsb@jockey.com Thank you so much, Jed Benefiel and Amber Knowles for being with us today to talk about engaging churches in the foster care community. I feel empowered. hopeful, that is a good place to be. Thank you both so much.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai