How do you adopt from foster care? What is the process, what is required, and how to begin? We talk with Kim Phagan-Hansel, managing editor of "The Chronicle of Social Change" and the editor of "Fostering Families Today." Kim is also the editor of two books, The Foster Parenting Toolbox and The Kinship Parenting Toolbox.
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How do you adopt from foster care? What is the process, what is required, and how to begin? We talk with Kim Phagan-Hansel, managing editor of "The Chronicle of Social Change" and the editor of "Fostering Families Today." Kim is also the editor of two books, The Foster Parenting Toolbox and The Kinship Parenting Toolbox.
Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily
* Note that this is an automatic transcription, please forgive the errors.
Speaker 2:Welcome to creating a family talk about adoption and foster care. Hey, listen up friends. Don't let friends wander around in the dark in search of good information. So be a good friend and recommend this podcast to anyone you know who is interested in either adopting or fostering. And thanks. Today we're going to be talking about adopting from foster care with Kim Fagan. Hansel. She is the managing editor of the Chronicles of social change and the editor of fostering families today. She is also the editor of two terrific books, the fostering parenting tool book and the kinship parenting tool book. Welcome to creating a family and thanks so much Kim for being with us today to talk about adopting from foster care. It's such an important topic. Thanks so much for having me on today. You know, I think if I could say there's words,
Speaker 3:one basic misunderstanding that a lot of people come into a foster care adoption with is the different ways to go about adopting from foster care and the whole idea of fostering to adopt versus adopting a legally free child. So let's start with that confusion to begin with. So what are the different ways that someone who is interested and adopting a child from foster care, what are the different ways they would go about doing that?
Speaker 4:For sure. So there's really two different ways. One is that the parental rights of a child may have been terminated, so they're legally free for adoption. They've already gone through all the court process and they are deemed to be available for adoption. Now there's children whose parental rights have been terminated in every single state. A lot of them you can find that information. You can find kids on the adopt us kids website. Most States have a heart gallery that you can look at to see different profiles. A lot of those kids work with the Wendy's wonderful kids program and there's routers that actively seek potential families to adopt those kids. So as of 2017 which is the most recent federal data available, there are about 123,000 children currently waiting to be adopted. So that's the first path to adoption. The second would be if someone decided to become a licensed foster parents. And under that you can choose to be a licensed foster to adopt parent, meaning that you're open to adoption, should they child come available. Now the one thing that I would say about that is that when you become a foster parent, really you're, you're saying that you're coming on board to be supportive of that child reunifying with their biological family. That's the number one goal for fostering. So it's not like you're gonna get a baby and then you know, two weeks later you're going to be able to adopt them. There'll be court cases, there'll be visitation and mentoring, things like that. And it's really important that foster parents are a hundred percent behind that when they get started. And then unfortunately as time goes on, you know, it becomes sometimes evident that parents can't get themselves to a healthy place, even with a lot of supports and help. And then the courts will move towards a termination of parental rights. And at that point in time, they'll start looking at potential adoptive parents. And typically the first they would look to would be the foster parents.
Speaker 3:Right? And if you look nationally, about 25% of the children who enter foster care will ultimately be adopted outside their family. And the vast majority of those cases when they're adopted outside of their family, will be through their foster parents. And that fits with pretty much what we see about a quarter of the kids will end up being adopted if they're being in the foster care system. But it is important to realize that your role as a foster parent and the expectations of you as a foster parent are to try to help with family reunification. So if your primary goal is simply to adopt and you really don't want that, that responsibility or the expectation that you're going to be working for reunification, then it would be better to consider a child who's parental rights have already been legally terminated. So in fact, it's interesting, I have noticed that there is a strong movement away from the term foster to adopt, I think in recognition of the importance for reunification or the emphasis on reunification. So you may not even see that term being used anymore. I'm seeing it used less and less. I don't know. Are you as you as well and what you're doing?
Speaker 4:Yeah, for sure. I, I just definitely feel like there's a movement towards recognizing that the best outcomes for kids is for them to stay in their home origin. And if we can supply those families the supports and things that they need, then that actually yields better outcomes than having a child enter foster care and bounce through multiple families, potentially age out of foster care and you know, have some really negative outcomes long term. So that's a real, real push there right now, especially with the family first prevention services act that we are going to, you know, be as supportive of those families of origin as we possibly can.
Speaker 3:What are some of the differences between being a foster parent and being an adoptive parent adopting through foster care? And we've mentioned one and that is the expectation of reunification, but if you are adopting, are there some other differences between adopting and fostering in foster care?
Speaker 4:Sure. So, I mean, I think as far as the kids go, the kids require the same kind of care, you know, some supportive adult in their corners. Someone who's gonna help address their trauma that maybe they've experienced. Those kinds of things are pretty consistent. They just need love and care. But there's definitely some specific regulations that foster parents, ms follow with the kids who are in state custody. Things that foster parents need to be made aware of. If an adoption has been finalized, then the child becomes legally yours. And so you know, a lot of those rules and regulations no longer exists. It would just be as if you're parenting and biological child. However, there's needs to be some recognition that children who've experienced early lost use and neglect to mania and specialized parenting skills. And I was fostering adoptive parents should be open to discussions about foster care and adoption in an age appropriate manner so that we're meeting the needs of the kids wherever they may be.
Speaker 3:Okay. Who can adopt from foster care?
Speaker 4:Yes, so pretty much anybody can adopt. The most important thing is is that they would have to get a home study and meet those licensing requirements for the home study for fostering or adopting. So those are a couple of different licensing standards for home studies. And so they would need to have that done. The things that you know may are red flags and we obviously want our kids to be in the best homes, possible, healthy families, Woody, you know, criminal backgrounds. Those kind of things could interfere with your ability to adopt. And so, and then if there's some other issues or traumas, things that you've dealt with in your past, that's something that your social worker's going to visit with you a lot about and make sure that you are ready and prepared to deal with things that may come into play when you take in a child.
Speaker 3:So let's go back to any form of involvement. Any criminal involvement, misdemeanor felony for any reason would disqualify you or does it depend upon what it is that your background shows?
Speaker 4:It really depends on, you know, what it is and what those level criminal activities are. But it's definitely something that you want to be open and honest about when you meet with your home study social worker and have conversations about those things.
Speaker 3:If background check will be run, so you need to know that up front and a, you need to be honest and it does depend usually on what the involvement with law enforcement was. You mentioned a the home study requirements, what is involved and then I want to ask you about the education requirements as well. What's involved with the home study?
Speaker 4:Yeah, so as social workers going to come meet with you a couple of times visit with you, the name home study actually comes because that's what we used to do was the home. When you know they came to to do that. Now they're going to more or less steady you. They want to make sure that you are a healthy family, that you're going to be prepared for anything that the kids may present to you and so they're going to talk to you a little bit, a lot about that. But there are some standards still. I mean if you have need a smoke detector or those kinds of things are still important. But yeah, that's become kind of a challenge, especially for like kinship families and taking in kids. Some of those can be real barriers to children being placed in their homes. And so a lot of agencies work really closely with those families to help them get over some of those barriers. And if they are missing a smoke detector, have programs that help them get those things into place for those kids.
Speaker 3:And each state has specific requirements that they're looking for the size of a bedroom. Oh there's, it's any number of things. But all that information you will be told about upfront so that you can, you will know whether or not that's going to be a problem before you get into it. Let's talk about some of the education requirements for adopting from foster care.
Speaker 4:So that varies from state to state and kind of along with the home study there under family first prevention services act, there's um, they're supposed to establish a national standard for licensure so that those will be more consistent. I know in progress right now there is a proposed bill called the national adoption and foster care home study act, which would amend the child abuse prevention act, which capita and so those things are kind of in process right now. There may be some changes on the horizon that we want to think about, but as far as the education for the or, it depends on which state you're in and some States do different pre service training, some do pride, some have their own, there's development of some new ones underway, so there's a variety of different training that those families will go through or they're licensed and then once they're licensed each state, sometimes each County can have their own requirements as to what it takes to maintain those. So that'll be a certain hour requirement of continuing education.
Speaker 3:Yeah, generally speaking, map and pride, although there are a number of, each state could have a different one and there's some new ones coming down the pipe. Again, your agency will tell you what it is that they're going to require and what you will know in advance, you will be told, and it's usually and again the hours, but don't be surprised if it's anywhere in the range of 30 to 35 hours. That can be a, a typical one that might differ by state and they usually work. Uh, they have specific times where they're providing this education, it's provided for you and if you've got problems with work, getting off of work, meeting, let them know up front and they may be able to work with you on that. Um, can singles adopt or do you have to be married?
Speaker 4:Uh, if you're single, you can adapt. State agencies are not allowed to discriminate against prospective foster and adoptive families based on religion, sexual orientation or marital status. Uh, however, there are private agencies that may have some added requirements that can include some of these things. There's several pending lawsuits and policies being introduced that address the discrimination of individuals waiting to adopt. And this may be an ongoing issue and concern going forward as well.
Speaker 3:There are and the distinction there is between public agencies and private agencies. We're going to talk about that a little bit more of that in a minute, but if you run into problems with the private agency, you can always look at your public agency, which is your County. I mean your County foster agency can be called, you know, department of social services, department of children and families. It's, it goes by different names by different States. All right. Do you have to own your own home in order to adopt from foster care?
Speaker 4:No, you don't. You just need to be able to provide that child a safe.
Speaker 3:Yes. Secure home. There may be a requirement as to the size of the bedroom or if the children can share a bedroom that again, you can ask the social worker at whatever agency you're working with. So how closely are your family finances scrutinized and how much money do you have to make in order to adopt from foster care?
Speaker 4:You know, those are things that they will talk to you about when you are going through that process. I mean you just really need to be able to show that you can maintain your family currently, that you're going to be able to care for an added child into your home. A lot of times people who are adopting from foster care are not your high end middle class wealthy people. They're pretty much average citizens with average incomes and jobs. Just have to make sure that you have the ability to care for those children.
Speaker 3:So how much does it usually cost to adopt from Baltar here?
Speaker 4:So typically there's no cost. If you're doing, especially like foster to adopt, there is no cost in there. There may be some travel costs if you're traveling farther to meet with the child and determine if it's going to be a good fit. There could be home study expenses if you're going through her straight to adoption rather than foster care. Typically your home study is covered if you licensed with your foster care agency and you do provide foster care services for that agency
Speaker 3:and that could be intimate and it can be travel costs and things such as that. However, keeping in mind that there is the adoption tax credit and the adoption tax credit is available for families adopting from foster care regardless of the, you get the full credit regardless if you have those expenses. Anything else that you'd want to say about the adoption tax credit?
Speaker 4:So at one point in time that was refundable, so it was really great for families who didn't have a lot of expenses to be able to take advantage of that. And I know there's a working group that's been working really hard the last few year years to try to get that refundable again, recognizing how important that is for families who may need that caring for a child with some issues related to their early childhood trauma. But as of right now, it's not refundable.
Speaker 3:We alluded to earlier that you can use, in most States you can use a private agency or the state agency. Now that does depend by state, but most States allow you to use, they have contracts with private agencies that you said saying that those agencies can place children for adoption from foster care. So in your opinion, what's the difference between using a state agency or using a private agency?
Speaker 4:Yes. So I really depends on the agency. So like we talked about before, a public agencies aren't allowed to discriminate, but a private agency could be faith-based and have some regulations about your faith when you participate. There. Some people really like a private agency, like how it feels more like a family in some ways. So I definitely have heard a lot of good things about some private agencies, but you know, I think it's important to find the right, right fit for you when you are considered checking out multiple ones, check out the County, check out some private agencies that you have that option in your area.
Speaker 3:And some of that we provide a list of questions for families that we have a um, uh, creating a family has an ego guide for how to choose an adoption agency or an adoption attorney and, and there's a section in there on how to choose a foster care agency and you should look at a variety of things including, uh, post-adoption support and services that agencies may provide. So when you're comparing, you're comparing apples to apples, not apples to oranges. When you're comparing to the private and the public agencies and there are differences between the two. Like you say, it could just be a, sometimes it's a feel, but sometimes some people feel like they get better for lack of better word, customer service with private agencies. But I don't know that you can say that across the board. Yeah, I mean that's kind of hard to, because there are a lot of different personalities of agencies, both private and public.
Speaker 4:Well, and there's also a lot of your private agencies, some of them can be treatment, foster care, and they just specialize in kids who have high needs and really train foster families who feel like they can meet those children's needs. And so that's different than going through your County for licensing, doing a treatment foster home.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that makes sense. As you've pointed out there are, they also go by the name of therapeutic foster homes and they have more training and they usually get children with higher needs, a higher special needs. So what type of kids are available for adoption from foster care?
Speaker 4:So really it's kids of all ages. A lot of times the median age for kids is, let's see, in 2017 it was about six to seven. So you know, kids are all ages are available and free for adoption right now. But I think there needs to be a recognition. I think sometimes people think that they will get an infant and I think that's rare, but get an infant to foster for a while. But like we said before with three, you know, reunification efforts should be number one and those infants, a lot of times we'll go home to their family. So I mean that's something that you need to be really aware of is that your odds of probably adopting an infant are probably pretty small.
Speaker 3:Um, boys and girls both available or more boys, more girls.
Speaker 4:Typically they say that there are more boys. I don't know that I have those stats though. Readily available.
Speaker 3:It's about 50, 50. I do the AFG are, I mean, just roughly speaking, it's pretty much evenly split between boys and girls. Yeah. You know, maybe one year might be slightly different, but for the most part what about the racial background of children available?
Speaker 4:Yeah, so that is pretty broad as well. There's children of all races that are waiting for families too
Speaker 3:and there are often a lot of sibling groups. Then it's always a need and somethings are harder to place and because you have to find a family that has the ability, has the room to adopt more than one. So there's usually a greater need for sibling groups.
Speaker 4:And a lot of times those kids, like the Wendy's wonderful kids program is trying to ramp up across the country. So I think they have a presence in every state right now, but they really specialize in helping find those families for sibling groups and kids with special needs teens, some of those thing that's really specialty area.
Speaker 3:Right. And there was, I should have mentioned@thebeginningyoumentionedadoptuskidsoradoptuskids.org heart gallery. I think most States now have a heart gallery. So just type in your state name, foster adoption and heart gallery and you will get the website at your, for your state and the Wendy's wonderful kids program, which as you mentioned is expanding and the process of expanding to all 50 States. Can you adopt a child from foster care across state lines? Can. However, it is challenging. The interstate compact between States has to be in place and it is definitely difficult. It's one of the things that they're trying to work on through some legislation and try to address some of those things that make it such a difficult, challenging process at times. Yeah, I'm really glad you said that because I always say in theory, yes, in practice it's hard and I think we need to tell families that because the assumption is we tell people there's over a hundred thousand children waiting for adoption, which is true and that gives the at the image that we could look anywhere and find a child and that's also true, but the reality is it's more expensive for States to place a child outside of their state because it involves the travel for their social workers. In order to keep up, you know, be able to check in on the children. They have to. Also from the home study standpoint, it's more involved. So it's just more complicated. So from the state's standpoint, if they can find a family closer to home, that would be their preference. You could also make the argument from a child's standpoint, particularly if the child has siblings, our extended family member where it's important for that child to have to maintain contact. Maintaining that contact is harder if you, you know, you add distance. So for all of those reasons it is harder to adopt across state lines but not impossible. I think that's one of the reasons why they're looking at this closely along with the reunification efforts is a recognition that can, is super important. And so whenever possible, being able to place children with their family is critical. And with the ICPC that can be challenging to place a child across state lines. So that's part of the reason for the national home study standards and those going into place so that that home study can be used across state lines and you don't have to get a new one in a new state. Those kinds of things. Yeah. So there is work being done on this and we're not trying to discourage you, but we are saying go in with your eyes wide open and, and uh, with the, the knowing that it's going to, if this is your choice, it's gonna probably be a more difficult path.
Speaker 2:I wanted to remind everybody that this show is underwritten by our corporate sponsor, jockey being family. They are calling out to all adoption agencies. They want you to know that they provide for adoption agencies continued support for their families after adoption. And they do so with their jockey being family backpack program. It provides newly adopted children with their own backpacks, personalized with their initials and filled with an adorable little stuffed bear in a blanket as well as a tote bag with parenting resources for their parents. And that you need, your agency has full applies. So if you're listening and you're an agency, go to the website, jockey being family.com. Click on backpack and you can apply it super easy and it is free. If you are a parent and you want your agency to be a partner with jockey being family and their backpack program, let them know. Let your agency know that they need to. It's simple. It's really easy to do. So let them know all about the jockey being family backpack program. All right, so we've talked about adopting across
Speaker 3:state lines. Earlier you mentioned the word special needs. What do you mean by that? I mean that's, that's kind of like adoption talker. You know how when in law we call it legal lease. This is called adoption ease or foster ease. What do we mean when we say special needs?
Speaker 4:Right? So that can mean a lot of things. Um, and for kids in foster care, there needs to be a recognition of the challenges that they face that led to them being removed from their home in the first place. So whatever that may be can cause trauma in a child. Um, if they've been abused or neglected, if they've witnessed violence, if they've had parents who suffer with addiction problems and have made poor choices and there's a lot of things that come along with those traumas that people need to be aware of. Now there's also other special needs and sometimes caused by that trauma diagnosis, post traumatic stress disorder. Sometimes kids in foster care can be more at risk for things like ADHD, ADHD. And then I definitely want to hit on fetal alcohol syndrome. If children have been exposed to a hall in utero, they may have some level of fetal alcohol syndrome. And a lot of times those aren't necessarily diagnosed until a child is in school. And we start seeing me struggle in school as some learning disabilities around that. And so that's definitely a hidden disorder that needs to be brought to more awareness for people who are considering fostering and adopting from foster care. So, but then, you know, some kids can have diabetes, some kids can be autistic. Like we said, you know, there's all ages, all sexes in foster care. So just like the general population, there can be all kids who need families
Speaker 3:and the only thing I would add would be to include a drug exposure, prenatal drug exposure as well in addition to prenatal alcohol cause we are certainly seeing more drug exposure now than we have in like the last 10 years. So yeah, it's a term that means that the child has needs that make parenting potentially harder, including the, the trauma of having been removed from their families depending of course on the age of the child and the reason for removal, many children have experienced neglect and neglect leaves its own scars. We tend to downplay neglect. We think, Oh it's just neglect, but yet neglect can definitely leave its own scars against for children. And then of course some children have been physically abused or sexually abused as well. All of these things that we've just said falls under the general rubric of special needs and in some States include sibling groups as a, the fact that you are trying to be placed with your siblings. It's not really a special need per se, but it does complicate, it limits the number of families who are able to adopt. So that is something you need to consider as well. So we've talked about the parents' financing in a finances and having to make enough money to be able to support their family and be able to add a child to the family. Are there adoption subsidies? Is there, I know that a families who are fostering of course have a foster subsidy. What happens if you're fostering and do you have a foster subsidy and you go to adopt? Do you have a, is there an adoption subsidy that is available?
Speaker 4:Yes, there is. So according to federal guidelines, subsidies should be available for any child older than two. Some States may have their own set of subsidy regulations, but that's the standard federally. A really great source for information just on obtaining subsidies is the North American council on adoptable children or knack GAC. They do a lot of work just on this and helping families know what is their legal rights and helping them advocate for getting a subsidy.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And we have a course that we've done with a neck North American council and adoptable children on subsidies as well. So you can look for that course and they can even talk to them or talk to NEC itself. So what do parents perspective parents think about when considering what age child that they would best be able to parent.
Speaker 4:So you know, I think people need to decide what age they like. Some people want to skip diaper stage entirely and that's okay. And some people just really like teenagers. And so trying to decide those things is important. And then being realistic about what you think you can handle. You know, if you're going straight to adoption then there's a file for a child that will tell you kind of what some of their areas are. And if there's some things that you just don't think that you'd be able to handle, then you should say that from the get go that that's just not something to do. I think families should consider what they're supporting looks like before they take on a new child or multiple children. And then the commitment is huge. Like knowing that if you're going to move forward with an adoption that you are in it for life. Really. We know that separating siblings is typically a very negative thing for children. So if you're going to take in siblings, are you going to commit to all of them and not that if one gets hard then you're going to make sure that they find a different home, but that you're going to commit for the long haul for these kids.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And so what are some of the things, you're right, there are advantages and disadvantages to every adopt every age that you can consider adopting. What are some of the things you should consider before adopting a sibling group?
Speaker 4:I think that really goes back to what your support team looks like. You know, do you have people who can come in and give you a hand if you need to divide and conquer with kids? You know, I have two kids and sometimes I need to clone myself and I only, how's that working out? That cloning not so well. So I mean those are some things that you need to think about. There's times where you have to be the same place at the same time and then you have a kid who may have some really unique needs that you need to be available for. Do you have someone you can count on to help you fill the gap when needed?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and there is, especially for people who are going from zero kids to are maybe one child and are adopting two or three, that's a big change. That's a big adjustment, which is not to say you shouldn't do it. It's to say that you need to lower your expectations on what you're going to be able to do for the next year and get more help around it. Just like you say, your support system go into it knowing that you're going to need more help and more support and it won't be forever, but you need to just, you're making a huge life change, so go into it with your eyes open, get some support and I always say lower your expectations because you're going to, it's going to be harder and you're not going to get nearly as much done as you think you're going to get, particularly as everybody is adjusting and settling in.
Speaker 4:For sure. I kind of like to tell people to get small after you adopt, you know, especially in those early days. So it's just good advice. Yes. Any home, be with your people and just build that connection. Start some new traditions with them, cook together. It does not have to be running to the library for story time, you know, trying to keep up with everything that you did before you adopted. It can just be just keep it tight and keep it close for awhile and just adjust to the new lay of the land.
Speaker 3:The new normal. Yeah. Lower your expectations of what a of gourmet meals, even not gourmet, get meals, lower your expectations, scrambled eggs, you know, counts as dinner and approach it that way and lay low, stay close to home and get as much support as you can. You know, I always think interesting when when people have an infant, everyone rushes to provide meals, which is wonderful and it's good. I'm glad they do that. But you know, if you adopt an older child, people make the assumption, Oh well you don't need anything. And I think gosh, you needed even more than if you have adopted an infant and if you adopt siblings. Yeah. When take anybody up that who will offer say, yeah, I would love to have meals brought and before the adoption, stock your freezer with as much stuff as you can, as much meals as you can prepare ahead of time so that afterwards you don't have that, you know, some of the basics that you have to do every day are covered. All right, so let me go back. When we were talking about an adoption subsidy, a question that we have received is can you use your adoption subsidy for anything? And an example that they were asking for was specifically they wanted to do some work on their house to make room for the, to create an playroom for the kids is that can, are you limited on how you can use the adoption subsidy?
Speaker 4:So there's no strings attached. The adoption subsidy is for you to provide the best family and life that you can for that child. So, and I a lot of times like you may adopt a three year old and you may not need, feel like you need that money right then and there, but a few years down the road and you know, they get a diagnosis that you didn't know about or they need some therapy. That's really what that funding helps fill the gap and recognizes that there could be things that come up along the way. So definitely making room for them and giving them a good home environment is a great thing. You know, I've talked to some who just save it to help pay for college or other expenses because you know, they certainly were never gonna plan on having five or six kids. And so now they have that many and recognize more of a challenge. It is help a child go to college, then just having two kids. So there's all sorts of things that people can think about, ways to make the best in the most use of it. So is there a negotiation for the amount of the subsidy? Yes. So there's some States it's just a base amount. This is it. Sometimes you can ask for more. Sometimes, you know, you kind of go back and forth and you talk about what their needs are and those kinds of things. And that's definitely where I would tell you to go back to NASDAQ again cause they've got some great resources there on how to do some of those things
Speaker 3:often comes up. And I'm thinking in terms of prenatal exposure. Now you have reason to believe or you actually know that your child was exposed prenatally to alcohol or drugs and your child's two, three right now you don't see any knee. But you also know from reading the research or taking one of our courses that talks the short and longterm impacts of prenatal exposure. You know that there is a fair chance that the child may have some learning disabilities, may have some higher level thinking issues, may have some problems with school, are uh, might need therapy or whatever. So knowing that, but to chow right now, the child that you're looking at right now that you are adopting is not expressing those needs. So how is that handled? How is the unknown? But they certainly within the realm of possibility issues handle when negotiating for a subsidy.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I think those are important things to talk about, you know, and be part of that negotiation process that those things may be factors that come into play. And I do know that if you have some pretty extensive things come up, you can go back to the state and ask to reopen that and renegotiate at sometimes because sometimes families get into some really big struggles and can almost feel to the point where we're going to have to put the child back into foster care because we aren't getting enough support. We're really struggling. And so at times I think those things get opened back up so that they can have conversations about ways that they can get more support
Speaker 3:[inaudible] absolutely. Is it possible to adopt a very young child or a baby from foster care?
Speaker 4:Absolutely. I think in most cases they bar that happens, you know, the family is a licensed foster parents and they can end up with a child coming to their home straight from the hospital. And like we said before, you know, working towards reunification efforts that ultimately fail and then adopting a child. So some people can have a child in their home from day one and adopt them
Speaker 3:[inaudible] yeah. And right now at least anecdotally I'm hearing more of that, but I think that may be reflective of the number of children who are being removed because of being born dependent upon drugs where they were, it was obvious that the mother was taking drugs during pregnancy. Again though we caution that the goal is to help that mom heal and help that family heal so that that infant, that baby can ultimately go home. So how, let's say that you are not the foster parent and you're wanting to adopt a child from foster care that's legally free. A child whose parental rights have already been terminated or will soon be terminated. So how do you go about transitioning a child into your home for adoption? And let's say we want to do it in the most, you know, the most child centric way that causing the least disruption to the child.
Speaker 4:So I think this is a super important question and there's probably not enough research and practice on this, but children are just like the rest of us that you need time to switch gears and prepare themselves for what lies ahead. I mean, we'd all be up in if one night we were told tomorrow we'd meet her new husband or wife and move in with them. So children and prospective adopted parents should be given ample time to get know each other and start to build a connection before we just move a child into the home. So now given the nature of foster care, that's not always possible, but it's definitely something that should be strived for. So, you know, multiple meetings, testing and overnight working up to a weekend, you know, before we ultimately do the move in completely for the child. And then recognizing that the people who've been a part of the child's life before are important. They've been important people and you know, we should be able to stay in contact if that's what what's wanted and you know, wherever possible, if it's safe, connections to biological families maintained.
Speaker 3:Let's talk a little about that because that's an area that's very frightening for some people looking at adopting from foster care, they assume that there will be no contact with birth parents or with extended family members, birth grandparents or whatever. And yet there's still a push or an encouragement depending on safety of course to maintain some level of contact. How often do you see families being asked after adoption to support some level of contact with either birth parents, birth siblings, or uh, birth grandparents or extended family?
Speaker 4:I think it really varies and I think that you're right, there's a lot of people who have a lot of misgivings around that and are very hesitant to form those things. But having done this for 18 years, I see always almost always when an adopted person gets to a certain age, they have questions about who they are, where they came from, why certain things happened, and I really believe that it's their right to have the answers of their own story. And so you know, if we can maintain some level of contact, it doesn't have to be face to face, it'd be addresses, you know, you can get a PO box for safety reasons. You can get a special phone that they can call, you know, whatever you can do to provide a link so that when they're ready and when they want those answers they can find them. I really think that's huge.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I do too. And I think that sometimes what's necessary is to think out of the box. It can be adult to adult contact being as you point out via email and with uh, a separate account, a different account where what you're doing is preserving the Avenue so that if it is important to your child and it very well may be important just to get answers. Even if the, if the questions are more about their siblings are about family health history, just having information is so powerful. So keeping the avenues open, even if it's adult adult and not involving the child or looking for someone. If the birth parents for whatever reason, either their choice are their disability or whatever are not involved looking for someone else in the family who might be able to be involved to help at that point. So I mean it doesn't have to be sometimes you know or are opening up a closed Facebook group and not, yeah, where it's just for a birth family members where you can share pictures. It doesn't necessarily have to mean a face to face meetings. It might, but also, you know, birth siblings if they have been are either still in the system are adopted. That's another form of contact that that really might be really important to that child. Sometimes more important than actually contact with birth parents. Siblings play such an important role and sometimes siblings that play the role as parent in that family
Speaker 4:for sure. Those are extremely important lifelong bonds that we shouldn't disregard an or take lightly. I whatever we can do to try to maintain, contain those things for our kids I think is really important.
Speaker 3:Um, we have a course that I particularly like. It's how to do open adoption in difficult birth family situations. And we talk about just exactly this, if a birth parent is still suffering with addiction, if a birth parent is simply unreliable or if a birth parent is dangerous and you don't want your child necessarily or in jail or whatever, what are some ways that you can maintain something for your child if it becomes important to him or her when they are adults? All right, so let's just kind of, if somebody is interested in adopting from foster care, what are some of the first things you would tell them to do?
Speaker 4:I think I would tell them to do some research. I think what we have now is just a great body of work that exists that you can read about the experiences of adoptees. I think that's critical to learn about what their experiences are. So just do research, just spend a day Googling and just reading everything you can about adoption, you know, reach out to your local County and take a class. Consider going and starting licensing and exploring that more and seeing what all may be involved. And so those are, you know, the first steps people should do is just get educated before they walk down that road.
Speaker 3:If you're trying to decide whether to go with a private agency or a public agency, the way you can go to the child information gateway and that's one way to do it. And if you type in the name of your state, you'll find out who your state agency is or you can just use whatever your search engine is, Google, Safari, whatever Firefox, type in the name of your state, type in foster care agency and it will take you, one of the results will take you to your state agency. And if you go there, you will be able, and every state I know of, they have listed somewhere on that site, whether or not they will, whether they allow private, they have contracts with private agencies. Usually it's by County or sometimes it's by state and you can find out the names of those agencies. So then go to set up an appointment to talk with both your County agency, County foster care agency again goes by different names, child and family services, department of social services, children and family services goes by different names, but just type in your County and social and foster care and it will pop up and scheduling an appointment with a private agency that places children for foster care for adoption in your County and just go to schedule two appointments and start getting information from both of them. And you and your points were all taken to do some research ahead of time. We have a lot of what fostering families today would be a great thing that they should, any family who's considering should, uh, so how would they get information about getting, uh, fostering families today?
Speaker 4:Yeah, you can check out our website@fosteringfamiliestoday.com and you can find information on there about how to subscribe some of our back issues, our special issues that we do. We have one that focuses entirely on developmental trauma. That's called healing matters. We're getting ready to do our second issue of that one. That'll be out in October.
Speaker 3:Excellent, great, great resources. Creating a family also has a number of courses as well as free resources. We have an entire section on foster care. You can go and just play around on that section, creating a family.org or you can look through, we have a foster ed courses for uh, this, uh, lots of different courses in there and you can take some different courses that will also educate you and the more educated you get, the better feel you're going to get as to the type of child and, uh, that your family is best able to parent. And as well as whether or not this is the right path for you. So get educated. Yeah, that's always my, that's always my suggestion.
Speaker 2:Let me pause to remind people that this show is brought to you by the generous support of our partners who believe in our mission that providing unbiased accurate information both pre and post adoption and some of our partners, our children's connection, they're an adoption agency providing services for domestic infant adoption, embryo donation and adoption throughout the U S as well as they do home studies and post-adoption support to families in Texas. We also have this to Del Mar. They are a licensed nonprofit adoption agency with over 65 years of experience helping to create families. They offer home study only services as well as full service, infant adoption, international adoption and foster to adopt programs. And you can get more information about them on their website as well.
Speaker 3:Well Kim, thank you so much for talking with us today. This is, uh, as I say, it's such a, it's such an important topic and there's so many, they fix a lot of misinformation so I, I really appreciate it. Kim Fagan. Hansel, she is the managing editor of the Chronicle social change as well as the editor of fostering families today. Let me remind you that the views expressed in this show are those of the guests and do not necessarily reflect the position of creating a family. Our partners are underwriters and keeping them
Speaker 2:mind that this information is general advice to understand how it applies to your specific situation. You need to work with your adoption or foster care professional. Thank you so much for being with us. We will see you next week.