Please pardon any errors, this is an automated transcript.
Dawn Davenport 0:00
Welcome to Weekend Wisdom by Creating a Family. I'm Dawn Davenport. This is our format where we answer your questions. So send us your questions, you can send them at info at creating a family.org. So today's question is about somebody who is not getting picked for an adoption match and is wondering if it's their adoption parent profile? So let me jump in and read the question. We've been waiting for a little over a year and so far no birth mom has asked to meet with us, I think we need to revamp our profile book. For the uninitiated, let me tell you that a adoptive parent profile is a portfolio is a booklet a book a collection of information however, want to say it about the prospective adoptive parent. This is the way it usually happens. These profiles are shown to an expectant mom or couple who is considering placing their child for adoption. So it is important, because it's your way of showcasing who you are. I think the first thing to think about is that there are many factors other than your adoptive parent profile to consider, especially just practically speaking, how many expected parents it's been shown to. And by the way, the correct term, when you had said birth parents, I just need to correct you that in fact, the preferred term is expected parent, not birth parent, words do matter. And I just have to say that if we call somebody a birth parent, when they're still just considering making a decision to place the job, it could place undue pressure on them. So anyway, from a practical standpoint, how many expectant parents or parent does your adoption agency or adoption attorney shown your profile to? So those are important things to think about? However, your question is about your profile. So that's what we'll address here. Definitely, it matters how you create your profile, and your adoption agency or your adoption attorney should be giving you advice and be helpful for you and assessing that, I could give you a couple of pointers that we have gathered along the way. One, this sounds obvious, but it really isn't. And that is to be as authentic as you can. In other words, you know, your mom's advice is still golden, be yourself. You are presenting, of course, the best version of yourself, but you still need to be yourself. And I think that prospective adoptive parents often think that the best way to do is be as generic as possible. But many professionals tell us that it is the unique that sticks out and attracts attention. So don't be afraid to be yourself and to be all of yourself and to share some of the things about you that are not generic. The second piece of advice on creating your profile is to write as if you're talking to a friend and use informal language without being overly too familiar, or too casual. So try reading the content out loud to hear how you sound, I read it to somebody else to hear how you sound. And the other thing is that sometimes we try to get fancy, but the truth is, if you can find a $1 word that works, don't use a Five buck word, you know, you're not talking down to somebody, but you don't have to also impress with your vocabulary. The third piece of advice is try not to sound too desperate. We know that this is an awkward project that you're doing. And you might very well feel, to be honest, a little desperate, you feel like that your hopes and dreams for a child are resting in somebody else's hands, which is all true. And this is a challenging journey. And it's okay to feel that way. But your profile is not the place to process these emotions. So as you're reading it out loud to yourself or to a friend, try to note whether or not you are sharing too much of your desperation in your profile. Obviously, you know, to use pictures, your agency will give you a clue as to how many you know that picture is worth 1000 words. It is so true that whenever possible, use real life pictures in your profile book, too many posed or staged photographs, you know, often look in authentic and let the pictures show who you really are. If you're silly and you're having a dance party, show a picture doing that. If you love pizza, show a picture of you eating the biggest piece of pizza you can find things like that show who you are, am use captions for your pictures. Your captions should be as descriptive as possible because you're looking for words that are going to capture the feeling, not just the action of the photo. So for example, when you share a picture of Rob wrestling with a nephew, you could say, Here's Rob playing his favorite role, Uncle Robbie, something along those lines. And then the last piece of advice is don't show too much. I just said earlier to be authentic, but also be aware of for example, in your vacation scenes, you know, avoid pictures that show too much skin for example, have a photo of bikinis and speedos done. Don't necessarily give off the parenting vibes to an anxious expectant mom. Plus a woman who's carrying 30 some odd extra pounds of baby weight might feel a little turned off by them. Another example would be that some professionals discourage showing any type of alcohol in the picture while others think it depends on the context. So you just need to play that by air and again, your adoption professional should be able to guide you. I hope this has helped. Whether or not it is your adoption profile that is keeping you from getting picked. There are other things including how many restrictions you have on what you are open to. So all of those things are important to look at in addition to your profile. So thanks for joining us before we leave, let me let you know that we have a wonderful collection of free courses that are available to you brought to you by The jockey being Family Foundation, you can check them out at Bitly slash J B F support that's bi T dot L y slash J B F support. And thanks for listening to this week's weekend wisdom. Remember, you can send in your own questions at info at creating a family.org and spread the word to let others know about this podcast. They can sign up where they sign up for the creating family podcast.
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