Join us for a wonderful discussion with author and performer Susan Kiyo Ito about her new memoir, I Would Meet You Anywhere. This is a book adoptive parents should read!
In this episode, we cover:
This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily
Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily
Join us for a wonderful discussion with author and performer Susan Kiyo Ito about her new memoir, I Would Meet You Anywhere. This is a book adoptive parents should read!
In this episode, we cover:
This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:
Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily
Please leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily
Please pardon any errors, this is an automated transcript.
Dawn Davenport 0:00
Welcome, everybody to Creating a Family talk about foster adoptive and kinship care. I'm Dawn Davenport. I am both the host of the show, as well as the director of the nonprofit creating a family.org. Today we're going to be talking with Susan Kiyo Ito, about her new memoir I Would Meet You Anywhere and adoption memoir. Susan is the CO editor of the literary anthology, a ghost at hearts edge stories and points of adoption. She is a writer, a poet and a performer Susan Kiyo Ito, welcome to Creating a family, I am thrilled to have you here.
Unknown Speaker 0:37
I'm thrilled to be here. Thank you so much.
Dawn Davenport 0:40
I loved your book it first of all, I'm just from a literary standpoint, it was so beautifully written at places it, it just almost felt poetic. I don't know if that was your intent. But it was it was beautifully written. I fell in love with it. And it was one that I didn't want to put down. And that says a lot. For me anyway, I so appreciated your openness. And at times, it was raw, but I also felt, I don't know, it just showed such resilience. I truly think and I say this to all the adoptive parents out there, this is a book you should pick up and read. It is a good book for us as adoptive parents. So we're going to talk about that in just a minute. But just briefly, tell us your story, your adoption story, so that people will kind of have an idea of where we are. And then I'd like to start talking about all the things I wrote while I was reading the book.
Speaker 1 1:32
Wonderful. Sure. In a nutshell, I was born in the state of New York, and adopted by my adoptive parents at about three and a half, four months old. And then grew up in New Jersey, and I am biracial, Japanese and Caucasian. And my adoptive parents are both Japanese Americans. So I think that was a big part of my story. And I searched for my birth mother starting when I was in college, and found her at the age of 20. And the book is really about the ups and downs have very lifelong relationship and relationship with everyone relationship with my parents relationship with my birth mother, and then ultimately, toward the end, finding a paternal birth family as well. And it's really about an exploration of family identity, belonging, all the things.
Dawn Davenport 2:29
Yeah, it's not giving anything away, because it becomes a parent, as soon as you find your birth mom, you me that there is tension in that relationship. It is not a smooth nor an easy relationship. And I wondered at times, it felt like much of the tension was due to her desire to keep you a secret in your desire to be seen. And also, I wonder if it wasn't also her desire to be in control, it felt very much that way throughout. Talk to me some about that relationship. It was up and down. And when it was down, I just, I just was so emotionally involved. And I was like, Don't do that to her. Anyway, go ahead.
Speaker 1 3:10
Well, up and down is pretty much it in a in a nutshell, it was up and down from the very beginning, from the very first day, the first day that I met, we spent several hours together almost a whole day, in a hotel room. And we went through the whole gamut of emotions during that day, you know, just you could feel that tension in all of it. She didn't want to have been found she did not want to have been found she felt that she had been promised anonymity, and that she had been betrayed by somebody. And I'm just gonna say I think she found during those first hours that we spent together, both of us really felt a connection in spite of the difficulties. And both of us had a strong ambivalence. And I think that if she had said to me on that first day, listen, I don't want any part of this. This wasn't supposed to happen. You know, it would have really been painful. But I think I would have respected that. Because I think that happens in many cases. And the fact that neither of us could really fully let go nor fully be in it. Do you know what I mean? I exactly. I feel like we both felt a pole of connection, in spite of everything. And on her part. She never wanted to be found. But once she was found she kind of still wanted to be connected in a certain way.
Dawn Davenport 4:37
But she wanted to be in control of how that connection looked at all times. Oh,
Speaker 1 4:41
100% Yeah. 100%. And I felt like I gave her that. You know, I was willing to do anything. Up until a certain point. I felt like I would have done anything to have that relationship.
Dawn Davenport 4:55
I mean, a quote from the book because I love this passage. Still you said I couldn't resist, you made the siren call, I would crash on the rocks of her. And it really felt like she did have the siren call. It was like she would cut you off and have nothing to do with you for years. And yet, if she came back, it was like you were just drawn to her. And I think that's so important for adoptive parents to hear and realize, one of the things that it felt like the book showed was the reality that adoption Reunions between adoptees and birth families can be fraught with so many conflicting emotions. And you have two different examples because you have your birth mother, and then you have the reunion with your birth father's family. He unfortunately had passed away before you had gotten there. And you mentioned before, you're very active in the adoptee circle. So you are very familiar with with reunions? Did you anticipate beforehand, the complexity of reunion?
Speaker 1 5:59
No. And not at all? I think I wrote about it. I mean, I really, I was pretty young. When I embarked on this. I was, you know, 1819 years old. And I tried to prepare myself as best I could. I think I wrote about this a little bit, I found a book in the library about it was case studies of adoptees in England, where records had been opened. And they were able to get their records at a certain age. And it kind of went through 10 different scenarios. And a lot of them were very, very difficult, you know, that somebody had died or somebody. I mean, there were just like, a whole gamut of really difficult and a few really positive outcomes. And I tried each one of them on that, like, what if I found this what if this happened? Do I still want to do this? And I realized that I did, even if I was going to find something terrible at the other end, but I never anticipated or I never imagined that it would be the way that it was, which was this kind of roller coaster of neither here nor there to push me pull me? Yes, I never answered. I mean, I think I would have still done it anyway. I mean, I know I would have still done it anyway. Sure. But I think that was something I did not anticipate that I felt like it was either going to be a good scenario or a bad scenario. And this scenario was both so much. It was so mixed. It was so good and so bad.
Dawn Davenport 7:21
Yeah. Yeah. Have you subscribed yet to our free monthly e newsletter? If not, what are you waiting for? It's easy, simply go to Bitly slash trans racial guide. And you can quickly sign up and when you sign up, you get the trans racial guide, that strengthening and supporting your transracial adoptee. It's terrific. It's our thank you gift for signing up. Each month, you receive a newsletter where we have curated, usually about four resources, we don't overwhelm you with stuff, but we really try to give you the best of the best of things that can help you. And it's free, it's easy. So go to Bitly slash transracial. Guy and sign up today. One of the reasons that I think this book is so important for adoptive parents and I come from the perspective of an adoptive parents, you probably don't know that the audience does. But I come from the perspective of an adoptive parent. And one of the reasons that I think this book is so important for us to read is that we say so often to adoptive parents, it's not about us, that desire for reunion, the desire for connection, it's not about us, don't make it about me to other parents don't make it about you. Because it's not about you. And I think your memoir does such a good job of helping, or maybe it was because that's where my mindset was, but it was about your quest to be whole. And your relationship with your adoptive parents was fine. They were no more perfect than anybody was. But I sense that you grew up feeling loved and treasured by your parents.
Speaker 1 8:58
Yes. I mean, I dedicated the book to them. There's a picture of them and me, the front of the book. And it really in many ways, even though it was about this quest, it was also a love story to
Dawn Davenport 9:11
them. Yeah. And it's not your quest had nothing to do with them. Your quest was about your needs. And I think so often adoptive parents, I hope less now. I don't know. I'm not sure if it is less, but I hope less. There is the feeling that if my child wants to search for their birth parents, it is a reflection on me. I am less of a parent. I am less than mom. And this book so clearly says there is nothing about that. By the way. I adored your dad. He just seemed so he called his little rascal and he was just he seems so and your mom as well. Both of them just were such interesting and great characters. But anyway, I do feel that this book is such a good testament to the fact that it's about you it as the adoptive Any thoughts on that? You
Speaker 1 10:02
know, I didn't know anything different when I was going through it. But in retrospect and also knowing so many adoptees in my life now hundreds, if not 1000s, I really feel like my parents, they were so supportive. And so matter of fact, and so open, there's a scene where my adoptive parents and my grandmother and my birth mother all
Dawn Davenport 10:25
go out together. Yeah, I mean, your your mother reached out to you, me? Yes,
Speaker 1 10:29
yes, they all did. And it was surreal. And bizarre, and it was hard. But so many people have said to me, I cannot imagine my parents ever doing that. I can't imagine that they would ever be willing to meet my birth family, and that they were so open. And so if they felt threatened or hurt, or sad, or anything, they never let me see that. They just were there for me, you know, they were there to give me what I needed. And I wanted to bring it together, I didn't want to have these two separate parts of my life, like, Oh, I'll meet my birth mother over here. And I've got my family over here. And the fact that they were willing to do that, and then after that, they kept up a relationship without me, you know, she would come to town and they would have dinner without me. And they would exchange Christmas cards and you know, sometimes meet up and they were very friendly with each other. And I really appreciated that. And also, when I told my parents because I was nervous to tell them that I was searching. They were, if I can do my mother's accent, what took you so long? We've been waiting years for this. That was how they responded on the phone after they got my letter. And it was just such an incredible relief. Oh, you know, because we as adoptees feel protective of our adoptive parents, we feel like we don't want to hurt the people who have raised us and loved us. And I had a lot of anxiety about that. And they just put it to rest immediately. What can we do to help you? What do you need? What do you need? How can we help you and I, at the time, I didn't think that much of it. I was appreciative. But in the many years since hearing that, there are many other responses to these things. I really come to appreciate them so much. Yeah,
Dawn Davenport 12:23
they got it. It wasn't about them. It was about you. They love you. So what can we do to help you find this? Your reunion with your birth father's family was quite different. Can you describe that one?
Speaker 1 12:36
Well, it happened 40 years later. So it was 45 years later is much, much later. And I don't know I guess it's a spoiler not a spoiler, but I ended up finding them through DNA. It's not
Dawn Davenport 12:48
a spoiler, because it's a similar great story of how you found the bug go ahead
Speaker 1 12:53
through ancestry, and I found my birth father's sister, my aunt, who immediately immediately was on the phone with me for five seconds and said welcome to the family. And I was just floored. I mean, floored, flabbergasted. And, you know, while my birth mother had been very, I would say holding things close to the chest, you know, very careful. Not wanting to tell anybody not wanting to give me much information. For example, She never told me her parents names or anything. It was very limited. My aunt, she wanted me to meet everyone. She invited the entire extended family, you know, invited me to come so I went to her house and met the entire extended family, many people in the town.
Dawn Davenport 13:45
She was just blandly. She was taking you out and everybody she met because this is my niece. I don't know if I don't remember. She said I just met her. But anyway, she just said this is my niece. She was including you my new niece. My new niece? Yes. No explanation needed it. She didn't give it this is just my No, no,
Speaker 1 14:01
no. And it was just this overwhelming. I don't know sense of. You're part of us. We recognize you, your family, you're part of us. And we want to tell you, everyone about you. We want you to know everything and she gave me this book of family history. It had letters and diary entries that the family had made it you know, genealogy family trees, photos that they had hand bound, you know, at a coffee shop door or something. And all of a sudden I had generations of relatives that I knew had no nothing about it was really overwhelming and it was something very, very different because even my adoptive family. My parents were second generation so their parents had come from Japan. And neither of my parents knew anything about their Japanese relatives didn't even know their mates didn't know anything about where they came from. So like the family tree is only like It only goes up this much. Whereas the family tree from my birth father's side, back to the 1500s. I mean, I now have, you know, I keep filling it out on Ancestry that like 9000 relatives, it's just happens. Exactly. It's very different. I mean, it was just very, very different. Well,
Dawn Davenport 15:19
your birth mom said at one point, and I don't remember actually what led up to it. But she said something to you about. It's like you're trying to worm your way into this family, or you're trying to get you into our family or something like that. And it's like, well, actually, yes, I am your family. But you didn't say that?
Speaker 1 15:39
No, of course, I thought it. But I think that's one of the things that I've thought about a lot during this whole time. Is that what makes a family or what makes somebody, your cousin or your mother or your sister? And I, I've kind of come to the conclusion that, like anything, I think it kind of has to be mutual. I mean, like, there's the genetic facts of it that yes, you are related to this person. Yes, you share DNA. But if they don't claim you, I don't really know if that's a relationship or not. I was thinking like, well, I could say that. Keanu Reeves is my boyfriend. But if he doesn't say he's my boyfriend, that that's not true.
Dawn Davenport 16:29
A boyfriend and parent child is different. Yeah, this is true. This is true. You're right. But I think that's important that you're saying the same? Yes, it's different. But it's the same in the sense that you meet. Well, sometimes she declined me. And sometimes she didn't. But it's, if it's not mutual, if I think I'm hearing what you say, if the other person doesn't want to claim you, then you're not claimed.
Speaker 1 16:50
Yeah, that is what I'm saying. I think there's something very distinct about that claiming I have another relative from my birth father's side of the family, who has 100% claimed me, and it's like my cousin, my cousin, you know, and who has a sibling? Who really, I could be nobody. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah, not want contact or to know me or anything. And that's, that's their choice. You know, and I'm not going to worm my way in, as you said, and the one who, who does claim me, I feel like we enjoy a really wonderful relationship. And there are others who just don't, for a variety of reasons, and I'm not going to force myself on anyone. But I feel like, you know, I can call one person, my relative and the other person, that's just a person, I
Dawn Davenport 17:45
totally understand that. Calling all support group facilitators, for support group attendees, or trainers for foster adoptive and kinship families, creating a family has the resource for you. We have 25 curriculum, it makes it so easy to run a training or a support group. It is very participatory, we get people talking, we keep them talking, we end with two action points for them. It is just a terrific resource. And you can find out more information about it at parent support groups.org. In adoption literature, there's the term the primal wound. And I know that you are aware of what it is, but just to make sure the audience is which I think they probably are, because we've talked about it. I'm not going to do justice, to the depth of what it means. But it's that the act of adopting itself creates a wound a primal wound, that is a hole that needs to be filled. I'm not sure that they would actually say that part of that hole, but it does create a wound, because you have been separated from your birth family. Did you feel that growing up?
Speaker 1 18:57
I don't know if I felt it as a wound. Growing up, especially as a child, a young adult, a teenager, I don't know that I felt that aware of it. It's only you know, kind of in retrospect, and looking at how I was or how I felt, I mean, I had a deep longing, and a questioning, I had a lot of questions. I have a little bit of mixed feelings about the primal wound idea, because on one hand, I believe in it. And on the other hand, I feel like I don't want to be defined by that.
Dawn Davenport 19:39
I interviewed another adopted person and she said, I object to the concept of womb because that means I'm injured and I don't feel injured. And I'm not defined by an injury that she said that I do want to know the whole of me, which includes my biology.
Speaker 1 19:55
Yeah, so I have mixed feelings about it. I'll say this. I I feel like I don't know if I have that primal wound that I was wounded as an infant, although, you know, I have to say, having both of my children and my grandchild and seeing them at the age that I was during certain milestones, this is the age I was, when I was born. This is me when I was a newborn. This is me when I was in the hospital. This was me in foster care. And this was me when I went to my family. It's kind of stunning. Do you know what I mean? When I feel like I was not this blank slate from zero to four months old. I was like a living being. And I experienced things that I don't know about my experience, being in the hospital and having literally nobody come visit me. I know that for a fact, I experienced being in a foster care situation. And I don't know what that was like. And then, you know, I feel like my known life began when I went to my adoptive parents. And I think that I think more about that wound, and how that may have impacted me when I see babies, you know, under
Dawn Davenport 21:12
four months old? Yes. Because you think of yourself? Yeah, of course, of course. And
Speaker 1 21:17
one other thing I'll say is that I've often said, I don't know if I was wounded as an infant, maybe I was maybe I wasn't, I mean, I think there have been a lot of studies that show that, you know, if you don't have sufficient, X, Y, and Z, bonding, and connecting and all these things at these young ages, that there's going to be consequences for that. And I'm sure that's probably true. But I feel like it was definitely a wound to be rejected or left as an adult. Sure, that was something that was very deeply felt. And I was conscious of it. It was something that I was conscious of as a person, and that I felt okay, maybe not the primal wound, but that was a big wound.
Dawn Davenport 22:02
Yeah, I can definitely, absolutely understand how you would come from that. adoptees often hear the phrase, you're so lucky. And can you talk to us about why that is? So off the mark. Even for someone who was raised in a loving, not necessarily idyllic, but certainly a fine upbringing? Why is the You're so lucky, comment. So
Speaker 1 22:25
misguided, because I feel like it leaves out a large chunk of the picture. Yes, maybe I was lucky to be with this family. And I truly believe that. But I was also unlucky in the original losses. And the ongoing losses after that I had a lifetime of ongoing losses and not knowing so many things, not knowing so many people. And there's a lot of loss. So I think what it is, it's a glossing over, and it's a trying not to acknowledge the rest of it. And it also kind of plays a little bit into, and I know that many adoptees have said this, you know, then you should be grateful, you should be grateful for being so lucky. And I feel like you know, those things kind of go hand in hand. And, as I said, I do feel grateful for for much of it. And there's a lot that I don't feel grateful for.
Dawn Davenport 23:19
I've wrote this once about the idea of feeling grateful. All parents hope at some point. Our kids appreciate what we did. But that's different from that you should be grateful. Yeah. And in my experience, when they hit somewhere around 25, that you could expect a certain degree of, you know, you hope that they then look back and say, oh, yeah, you guys weren't so bad. But it's you're so lucky. implies that then you have to be grateful and no child. Yes. If you choose, a child chooses to be grateful, well, then you as a parent are a lucky parent. But no child should have the obligation. Exactly. Because we had kids, we brought kids into this world be they adopted or birth because we wanted them. And
Speaker 1 24:05
I'm sure you've read Angela Tucker's book of every title, you should be grateful. And she pretty much says it all.
Dawn Davenport 24:11
Yes, she does say Oh, yeah. We interviewed her a couple of months ago when it first came out. Yeah, she's a good friend. Oh, is she? She's terrific. Yeah, I enjoy her. Yeah. If you guys are not all that far apart, because you're in California, right? Yeah. Have you heard about our free courses? If not, you need to know about them. The jockey being Family Foundation supports us to offer you these free courses. We have a library of 12 courses on our website. You can check them out at Bitly slash J d f support that's bi T dot L y slash JBf. Support. All right. One part of your book that I didn't really expect was your discussion about being biracial. You were raised by Japanese American parents, that you sometimes felt not Japanese enough, because of your white biological father. So how have you made meaning out of your biracial pneus, I thought it was such an interesting part of the book. As I said, I wasn't necessarily expecting that. So I truly enjoyed that part when you discussed it.
Speaker 1 25:18
Well, it's certainly been a lifelong journey. And it's another thing where I really appreciate my parents being very matter of fact about it, you know, they would say you're humble and humble, and which means you're half and half, but they didn't dwell on it or make me feel like I was less than. And I also wrote a lot about, I had kind of a half and half existence with my family, and my extended family and our church that we belong to. So on the weekends, my life was very, very Japanese American. You know, we spent all day at church, we spent time with our relatives who live very close by, but during the week, we lived in a small, pretty white little town, and all of my classmates, neighbors, the whole community was pretty much white. So it was just like an interesting, all I can say is half and half experience, you know, and I kind of went back and forth between the two and how people saw me, and I think it also depended on how much contact people had with my parents, you know, that if they saw me as Asian or not. And when I left the East Coast and moved to California, I really struggled with not having my parents is kind of an anchor in that community. And there were times that I did not feel accepted or seen by Japanese American or Asian American community. I wrote about this in an essay once, but I don't think it's in the book. I was teaching at a community college and they had an Asian Faculty Association. And I showed up and somebody came up to me and said, What are you doing here? And I was just like, a deer in the headlights? Or people would say to me, Oh, you're married to Ito, you're married to an Ito? Implying that? You know, my husband must be Japanese, but I'm not. And that really shook me.
Dawn Davenport 27:13
Because you were raised in an environment where people assumed you were raised by Japanese parents. So anybody who knew your parents, your racial identity was fat people probably didn't realize outside that you weren't full Japanese. I would assume if they saw you with your parents. Yes,
Speaker 1 27:28
well, they were different. They were different experiences there. I'll say another little anecdote. Again, not in the book, where we always spend our vacations down in Florida, we would drive down. And my father told the story about how they went to register for a hotel, and the hotel clerk, threatened to call the police on my parents, because they thought that they had kidnapped me, and that I was a little white baby. And because there's no way that these, you know, oriental people would have a white baby or a white looking baby. Interesting. We jumped in the car and took off and found another place to stay. But he, he tells that story that people didn't think that I should be with them. Yeah,
Dawn Davenport 28:11
interesting. We so often think of the issues with transracial adoption, being that children are raised by usually white parents. That's not exclusively that case. But in your case, it was quite different. You were raised by the same race as your birth mother.
Speaker 1 28:28
I often call myself an upside down transracial adoptee, because according to the I like the definition of transracial adoption is when the parents and child aren't of the same race. And in fact, I was not completely of the same race as them. So sort of half and half. But thinking of like, if you're a biracial, child of color raised by white parents, it is possible to not have any contact with the community of origin of that child. It's possible to be raised in racial and cultural isolation. And I've heard a lot of that going on. But for me, that was not possible because we lived in dominant culture, and they didn't have to go out of their way to true helped me get to know white people. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't know if you remember that commercial back in the day, where says March, you're soaking in it. Meaning the Palmolive dishwashing liquid. And I would be like, Yeah, I was soaking it up. You know, I watch TV, all the media, everything around me, everybody in my town, people in school, and we're predominantly Yeah, exactly. And so my parents didn't have to do this extra work to truly connect me with my culture, the way that white parents do when they have a child of color. And there are not those people around. Yeah,
Dawn Davenport 29:48
that makes good sense. And yet you identified as a Japanese American growing up. I did, yeah. And at one point, when your aunt your father sister had said Oh, if I had only known I would have taken you in I would have adopted you. And you talk about, oh, well, wait a minute, I would have lost so much. You know, my Japanese and this, because you would have been been a classic right side up. transracial. Adoptive? Yeah. Interesting. Yeah.
Speaker 1 30:16
I always assumed that I resembled my birth mother more. And as it turned out, when I met my birth father's family, that resemblance there was so strong that it was kind of shocking. And I feel like I probably would have just blended in. And I don't know if anybody would have even noticed or thought. It's interesting. My husband said, Honey, if you were raised, you know, in that family, you would have been just sort of a funny looking white kid. For like something like this. There's something different about you. But it wouldn't have been completely obvious.
Dawn Davenport 30:50
Yes, it wouldn't have stuck out. It's something I wanted to just touch on briefly. You at some point, you started working in the adoption world, but it made the main thing is that it brought you in contact with adoptees. And you've talked about how important that has been in your development. I thought it would be helpful if you shared a bit of that. Yeah,
Speaker 1 31:10
well, it's been it's been everything for me. And I mean, I don't know if you remember. But my first contact started when I was 13. And I read this book by an adoptee an adoptee memoir by Florence Fisher. And she had founded OMA an adoptee organization. And I started attending their meetings when I was 18. So I first became connected with other adoptees when I was still in college. And I can't even say the impact that that had on me with other people who validated my feelings, who supported my experience, who understood exactly what I was going through. I mean, that meant everything. And I have met adopted people who are 40 5060 years old. It's like, I never talked to another adopted person, like, well, not that you know of, but yeah, you know, like, where they really feel like they've never they feel isolated, they feel isolated. They never felt like they've had that community. And I just feel like that is one of the things that I treasure most is my adoptee community. And I've had many, many different forms of my adoptee community, you know, Asian adoptees, and biracial adoptees and adoptees who are parents and now aging adoptees, because we have our issues too, and I feel like to be in community has been a tremendous source of support for my entire life, and I would be lost without them.
Dawn Davenport 32:41
One final question. I was left wondering, as far as you know, has your birth mom Umi? Read the book? And if so, has it impacted your relationship? I
Speaker 1 32:51
don't know. I don't know. I did let her know about the book. And we're currently not in contact.
Dawn Davenport 32:59
So you have no idea?
Unknown Speaker 33:01
I don't know. Yeah. Well,
Dawn Davenport 33:03
I don't know whether to hope that she does or doesn't read it. I
Speaker 1 33:06
feel the same way. I feel the same way. I don't know what I hoped for. I hope for peace for both of us. Going forward. That's that's what I would like.
Dawn Davenport 33:15
Yeah. It's a beautiful wish. I did feel it was brave of you. Because knowing how much you desired that relationship. It took courage to write this book. And I'm, I'm glad you had the courage.
Speaker 1 33:32
Thank you. Sometimes I'm glad sometimes. Yeah. You know, it's it's been a real emotional journey since the book has come out. And I've heard that word brave a lot. And sometimes I think in my head, I don't know, brave or foolish.
Dawn Davenport 33:51
There's a fine line between the two. There is a fine line between those two. Yeah, there really is. Well, whether you were brave or foolish, Susan Keough Ito, I am so thankful that you wrote this beautiful book, I would meet you anywhere and adoption memoir. Thank you so much for talking with us today.
Speaker 1 34:11
Thank you so much. I really appreciate this conversation and your readership.
Dawn Davenport 34:16
Let me do a shout out to Vista Del Mar. They have been a long time supporter of both creating a family, the nonprofit as well as this podcast. Vista Del Mar is a licensed nonprofit adoption agency with over 65 years of experience helping to create families. They have a number of different services. They can do a home study only service they also have a full service infant adoption. They can do international home studies as well as post adoption reporting. And they have a foster to adopt program. If you're interested in foster care. You can find them online at vista del mar.org/adoption.
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